If There Is A God, Jennifer Aniston And Brangelina Will Get Married On The Same Day

Jennifer Aniston Justin TherouxDetails about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux‘s wedding have started to trickle out of the leaky sieve that is the internet, and I am getting pretty excited to receive my invitation in the mail. I just hope they don’t use the same mailing service as Drew Barrymore did for her wedding, because that one never got to me. But until it gets here, I have the rumors to keep me company. According to a source, the wedding “will be a small affair with their closest friends”, so I’m sorry to say that you and I probably won’t see each other there. I promise I’ll tell you all about it after, though. Apparently Jen and Justin have already picked out the band, a small selection of dresses that Jen is still deciding among, and the date — which while it hasn’t been revealed, is allegedly sometime after March 8th, after Jenn wraps her current project.

oscars arrivals 6But you know who’s also supposed to get married around then? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who apparently did not get married on Christmas as previously reported. Good old Brangelina…aka the Hollywood power couple over whom sad spinster Jen goes home and cries her shabby tears of loneliness, forlornly rubbing her barren, childless belly. Sorry to keep bringing that up, but I have to get really good mileage out of that old tired story, because we won’t be able to use it anymore once she and Justin get married. You know what would be so great, though? If these couples both got married on the same day, in separate ceremonies. Or even a joint ceremony, if they’re feeling especially indulgent of America. I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t tune into that wedding, except maybe whale sharks, but only because they don’t have television. In any case, I want this to all go down on one epic, A-List Day. That is how I’ll know the Benevolent Goblin Of The Internet Exists, because he will have granted my first wish and made me the happiest little blogger in the whole cubicle.

(Images: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com)

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    • claudia

      to the author of this article, alexis rhiannon, you are a cruel bitch, how can you use words like that, “sad spinster, barren childless belly” i hope u understand that many people don’t have children not because they don’t want but because they can’t. it is very stressful. in case, you don’t have problem conceiving, you’ll never understand, but if you continue like this, i hope bad karma come to you, someone you love will be in the same situation & i want to see what you say…remember karma !

    • http://twitter.com/pattyannelc patty c

      Why so arrogant and pretentious in your personal assessment of Jennifer Aniston? Have you been “the other woman” in a relationship ergo are sympathetic to anyone who manages to end a marriage in favor of a live in relationship? If there is justice in this world, one day you will be wearing the same shoes as the woman you labeled “sad spinster, barren childless”. You are so deserving of such fate.

    • Cali

      Get over the poor Jen crap, I’m sure she has

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