So Jessica Chastain did a decent enough job playing the young CIA officer who took down Osama Bin Laden in Zero Dark Thirty, but could Lena Dunham have done an even better one? In a recently un-earthed audition tape, Lena shows us how to get information out of terrorist prisoners the Hannah Horvath way.
In a classic Hannah Horvath redundancy, she tells her prisoner, “I don’t want you to betray anyone, I just want you to forsake all of your sacred vows, and tell me all the names of your terrorist brothers, and willingly give up the exact location of Osama Bin Laden.” Only that? All right then!
When that doesn’t work, she berates the prisoner for the psychological damage it will do to her if she is forced to waterboard him, as she can’t even afford a latte, let alone years of therapy! In between chomping on a chocolate chip muffin, of course.
As if that wasn’t convincing enough to get her the part, she starts to take her clothes off until the casting director reminds her that she is supposed to strip the prisoner and not herself. (Way to not go for the easy/bad joke of her torturing him by making him look at her body!) I know if I were a terrorist, I’d give up everything after hearing Lena/Hannah whine at me for this long.
Of course, it’s not really Lena, but comedian Chelsea Davison doing the most spot-on Hannah Horvath impression the world has yet seen. Go here to see more of her hilarious work.