For The Last Time Chris Brown, Hitting Rihanna Wasn’t A ‘Mistake’

Chris Brown Elton John PartyI need to stop clicking on anything that involves Chris Brown. At least if I want to stop making my blood pressure skyrocket before I’ve even finished my morning coffee. But it’s too late today. And if you’re reading this then it’s clear that it’s already too late for you too. Sorry, but we’re in this together. Let’s virtually hold each other’s hands as we experience joint angina attacks.

In a recent interview with Satan himself (waiting for my fact-checkers to fact-check this one), Chris Brown talks about the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day he once had in 2009. Rihanna was there. Maybe. He can’t remember, because the no-goodness happened to him.

“Sometimes you row, you fight, with the one you love and things get said, stuff spirals….That night was the deepest regret of my life, the biggest mistake. But she loves me — what can I say? I’m forgiven… but, yes, I worked hard for it.”

Where do I begin with this gem of a quote? Maybe the fact that Chris Brown still believes that punching Rihanna repeatedly in the face to the point where her lip split open can just be categorized under the “stuff spiral” part of a relationship.

Or perhaps we should kick off this discussion with the word mistake — and how he’s still allowed to use that word to talk about abusing his girlfriend. A mistake is drying your girlfriend’s favorite pair of jeans when she told you to let them air dry. A mistake is forgetting to pick eggs at the store after being asked via call and text. A mistake is canceling your girlfriend’s Real Housewives recording because it interferes with the show you want to simultaneously record. A mistake is not looking at another human with a bloody and beaten face and continuing to make that face even more bloody and beaten. That’s assault. There’s a difference between the two and four years after the fact I’m amazed no one has taken the time to explain this to him.

The fact he’s still pretending like this was a run-of-the-mill couple’s fight that somehow ended up in the media is ridiculous. We know about it because his hands put her in the hospital. We know about it because her time in the hospital put his ass in the court system. We know about it because it happened. And all the half-ass “mistake” quotes from interviews can’t make it unhappen. It can’t make us unsee those images of her face and it can’t make us forget that he’s an abuser.

Sorry Chris Brown, try again next time. Oh but do try to revise your word choice first. It would go a long way toward us believing that you’re finally trying to understand what you did wrong.

(Photo: Thomas Janssen,

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    • Dee

      You are aware that ‘Mistake’ is defined as ‘deviating from what’s right’…. I sincerely hope that nobody defines you by one ‘mistake’ in your lifetime, because that would be a shame to be judged and persecuted by those who are not you. Dontcha think?

      • Jenni

        It’s hard not to judge someone who’s showed no repentance for his ‘mistake’ nor showed up to do the community service that the court mandated for his ‘mistake’

      • abbeysbooks

        He isn’t sorry. She feels “hit” out of love. Many cultures feel their other doesn’t love them if they don’t hit them or beat them. Different strokes for different folks. No pun intended.And a lot of it depends on whether you were hit as a child as punishment. Some fathers are quite brutal but it is “their child” so nosy one shut up. I was never hit so I won’t stand for it. Other women feel differently about it. And believe me I am provocative, and I have played with that boundary a lot. Was I daring? Saw Rihanna daring him?

      • Strayed Soul

        if you ever done community service it’s no way to really prove or disprove it all you have to get is the service center to sign a paper saying you was there from this time to that time but Chris has also posted pictures of him performing community service also beside from that he has started a charity for arts & music and to say he shows no remorse is bias maybe he hasn’t done it public ally

      • Krissy Kringles

        Serious question Jenni: showed no repentance to who? You? Or the person who repentance should be given to. Because from my count, the only person who he should show repentance to is the victim, Rihanna. And honestly, Chris Brown publicly showed remorse and sorrow throughout several interviews in the immediate years following this incident. Just because 4 years have passed and the people who were involved have forgiven and moved on while bystanders continue to stay muddled in 2009 does not mean he has not personally put in work to better himself and help others that you are not privy to. Unless you actually care to dig deeper than you precept of an unrepentant felon who “hasn’t done his community service”, you’d find out how he’s committed himself to a foundation that supports victims and families of DV, and also recognise that he’s been “accused” of not completing his service, not decided or proven. Looking at it from an objective eye, the kid has a lot of work to do, but unlike celeb abusers who’ve been in his same position, albeit repeatedly, at least he’s WORKING. Do better with research when reporting this crap instead of catching up on pop culture gossip as a means to justify slanderous articles. Ugh! To the dogs journalism truly goes.

    • Mary Ellen Hennessy

      Thank you! Too many people seem to have forgiven him for a “mistake” that landed a woman in the hospital (I think, apologies if I’m wrong) or at least left her with a bloody lip. I truly hope this doesn’t send a message to other abuse victims that you have to go back or that you can’t get away. And when I say this I mean chris brown and Rhianna, not the article!

      • Jenni

        It drives me crazy how many people write it off as a mistake that could happen to anyone. I don’t think he should be exiled to Antarctica but I also don’t think he should be allowed to continue on with his career as if nothing happening. Choices have consequences.

      • abbeysbooks

        jenni when you say not allowed you are asking for some “dictator” to forbid him to participate in his career. As long as he makes money no one will censore him. This is capitalism baby. Consider the source, and I bet you wouldn’t like the destruction of that source just to get rid of Chris Brown. Rihanna is from Haiti. It’s a different culture. Our rules are not their rules.Chris beating up on her is not the same thing in Haiti as it is in the US to her. She was probably forced to report it as she couldn’t explain it away. She was in a catch-22 situation. Now if you just refused to write anything about him, even negative, that would be helpful. When no one will pap him, write about him, go to concerts, buy his records, that will help. But that’s all.

      • Naomi

        ‘abbeysbooks’, your defense of chris brown’s assault under the guise of cultural relativism is naive at best. If I were willing to entertain it, I’d start by arguing that Chris Brown, aka the perpetrator of the violence, is an American and as such this couldn’t represent a ‘different but equally valid cultural norm’; he was socialized in a culture in which violence against women is not tolerated. Second, yes it is unfortunately true that in some places domestic violence is the norm. However, this is NOT OKAY, and it’s a symptom of a backward patriarchy with an obscene gender politic in which women are regarded as second class citizens – ie not something that can be tolerated as an acceptable ‘alternative worldview’. In cases such as this, yes, we can rule that one culture is better than another. In no case is the woman ‘asking for it’ as you suggest in your first comment; if she has grown accustomed to violence it is because of her tragic disenfranchisement and internalized traumatic abuse. So no, it’s not okay, or justifiable.

      • abbeysbooks

        I AM NOT DEFENDING CHRIS BROWN. I am simply saying that it is understandable to me. No it’s not OK. It’s definitely not OK in my book. But physsical and psychological abuse is very relative to the people involved. Whether it is a woman or a child BTW. In the Ozarks I see women every day smacking their kids for doing literally nothing in the supermarket except being curious. Before they can talk and express themselves you can see “beaten down” on their faces or “bad girl or bad boy” written on them. Take a girl out of that “culture” add 15 years or so and she is not going to react as you and I do when her bf smacks her. Or her husband. She is used to it and it will have to get really really bad before she decides to stop it. Given the fact she has no skills except what’s between her legs, she is also dependent financially on him. Her only choice in escaping is a woman’s shelter and they are all booked up. She is in a catch-22 situation that all your fine words don’;t help her at all. Rihanna comes from a different culture. She probably doesn’t feel the same. Maybe he will have to almost kill her or kill her before she gets it. Do you really think Nicole Brown wasn’t beaten up a lot before OJ killed her? It’s the goddamn culture that creates this that makes men think it’s OK or macho to do this. And I don’t see that changing. We don’t have young men that are gentlemen anymore. Young people are barbaric compared to 50 years ago. Girls too. How are you going to address the problem of slapping children around for disobeying you. Read John Holt on this problem. Here:

      • abbeysbooks

        As Jamie foxx said in defense of Michael Vick fighting pit bulls: where they come from it’s an everyday thing. then they make it and it’s not OK anymore but no one tells them that.They lack the social skills to know when these things are no longer acceptable in their “success” milieu. Brown comes from shit I am guessing. Smacked around for doing nothing so he decides to be bad and give them something to smack him around for. Clearly Rihanna wants him. She can do that. It’s her choice. It’s not a bad thing for young girls to see that about her. It gives them something to think about. Not to worry. Sshe probably feels he loves her when he does this. That he cares enough for her to smack her around. How many parents beat their kids then say it’s for your own good I’m doing this. The thinking and feeling has to change. Rihanna has the means to get away. She is choosing not to. I am guessing she likes the way he do it. meaning sex. Maybe they were in a dom/sub relationship and it got out of hand. How can anyone know. The fact that 50 Shades is the best selling book ever should tell you a lot about what over 40 million women world wide fantasize about. And you can bet there are 40 million men out there that will take them up on it. Once they create sexual addiction in these women they won’t be able to get out. That’s what 50 Shades is really all about. It’s not a “love story.”

      • Strayed Soul

        Well let’s not forgive you for yours and victims have return to their abusers long before these 2 and a victim in that situation normally don’t report because of embarrassment financial or family obligations not because celebs did it

    • Venus Blogs

      I understand the frustration but, nothing Chris Brown will ever say will take away what he’s done. Instead of us getting so upset with him, as a society we should be doing all we can to educate young men and women about domestic violence so they will not be prone to repeat it.

    • Strayed Soul

      She reportedly punched him first since the push to make men and women equal he did nothing wrong honestly so for the feminist activist that look down on him how could you for the ones who believe that men and women are not equal then he was wrong and for the ones who want to evaluate their relationship chill it was her decision to go back to him I’m pretty sure she could afford counseling and therapy also many other woman in her situation do the same but I don’t see any blogs deteriating their image before the incident majority felt he was a great guy where is it a law that says he doesn’t deserve a second chance because it’s domestic violence no statistic says that he will 100% repeat the offense let them walk in their shoes just because you can’t give him another chance does not mean that she can’t and the fact that he says he does not remember is probably because he feels guilt after all as a child he was a witness to the same act with that being said none of us know the emotional battles either is dealing with

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