Bad news bears for all you couple-loving kids out there who want to believe in Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. We just got the second sign in just a few days that they might not be happily married as we previously thought.
On Sunday we got Ben Affleck’s super unnecessary meditation on the hardships of marriage during his Oscars acceptance speech. As many people have pointed out, he’s right, marriage is work. But if there’s a time and place not to talk about the ins and outs of one’s marriage, it’s probably when one’s accepting an Oscar. It’s not like it’s Hollywood tradition to rehash your counseling sessions in your acceptance speech. In fact, if my memory serves correctly all you have to do is say “I love you” and the fans go wild.
Then today we got this uncharming anecdote from Us Weekly about Jennifer Garner hating Ben’s beard so much she brought clippers to an Oscars party.
“He did it himself at the restaurant,” with help from pals, an insider tells Us of Affleck, who purposely grew out the scruff as his lucky charm for awards season. (Despite the Best Picture win, Affleck was famously snubbed in the Best Director category, where the Academy failed to acknowledge him with a nomination.) “The whole family was tired of the beard!” the source adds of Garner, 40 and kids Violet, 7, Seraphina, 4, and Sam, 12 months, plus other relatives. Indeed, his wife of six-plus years “actually brought the clippers to the party.”
As a fellow beard-hater, I understand that she may have wanted it gone. But making him shave it off on presumably the biggest night of his life (career-wise) seems a little harsh. Almost — and I’m speaking purely from self-help books I read the titles of on the bookstore shelves here — as if she wanted to reminded him who’s boss. Sure he can win the Oscars at work, but she can win the war at home. Shit I think I just wrote the plot to an ABC Family movie. But nevertheless, this struck me as strange. Especially the part about the baby. I highly doubt the beard bothered Sam. So Sourcey Source, next time you leak something, make sure to leave the unbelievable part out. It makes the overall story easier to digest.
Look. I know it’s hard to find real love in Hollywood. Every time we think we’ve found another “it’ couple, they go and break-up on us. Or worse get divorced. (Yes, I’m still working my Amy Poehler and Will Arnett issues out with my therapist.) So I understand why everyone wants Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner to be our couple. That one couple who’s going to make it. I mean, they have three absolutely adorable kids so they have to make it…right? RIGHT?
Well maybe not. They might not be that couple. Or they may be that couple. I’m just saying you might want to start finding another beautiful family to obsess over. You know, just in case the worst happens.
(Photo: Survivor, PacificCoastNews.com)