Last night was, by all accounts, a pretty good night for Anne Hathaway. She won her first ever Oscar, sang a Les Mis song onstage, and saw all of her childhood dreams come true. But because people are monsters who hate it when good things happen to nice method actresses, a bunch of Anne-haters out there are choosing to focus on the more nipple-related aspects of her evening.
I think it’s only fair to offer up a defense of Anne’s nipple-tastic Oscar dress, so here goes.
1.) Any fool can see that those are not actually Anne’s nipples, but the seams on her dress, which appears to have been inspired by the pointy busts of the ’60s. Believe it or not, it was once considered normal and stylish for dresses to have darts like that, and women even wore torpedo-shaped bras to make their boobs appear as pointy as possible. It’s a look!
2.) She didn’t actually reveal anything she didn’t mean to reveal, which is a big step up from her last wardrobe malfunction.
3.) It’s Prada, bitches.
Who are you to mock the darting decisions of this storied house of design?
4.) On a personal note, a similar thing happened to me once when I wore a vintage dress I thought I looked cute in, and someone took my picture and put it on the internet. Pointy busts look a lot pointier in pictures than they do in person! People made fun of me and I got embarrassed, so I got rid of that dress immediately even though I really liked it, an action I regret to this day. People should wear what they want to wear, and if others want to be all immature about it, that’s their problem.
5.) As a design element, pointy nipples give a dress shape and structure and keep things interesting without being tawdry. You do you, Anne. TEAM POINTY!
Photo: Getty Images