Last night at the Vanity Fair Oscars Party, Andy Samberg showed up with singer Joanna Newsom, his fiancee who is not me. And this is further proof that my lonely island will stay forever that way. And while I can acknowledge that his frat boy humor has never quite tickled my pickle, my crush on him is something I cannot help. I’m powerless against his curly-haired goofy Jewish boy charm. And I really loved that time that he was on a boat.
According to this post on JustJared.com, the SNL alum began dating the singer around 5 years ago and that the relationship blossomed organically. A source told Us Weekly that things began because “he liked her music and would go to her shows. He had the biggest crush on her.” Urrgh. I’d like to think that there are plenty more funny boys out there for me, but it seems like every time I turn around, they’re getting engaged to breathy-voiced ingenues with twig arms and legs who play the harp. Can’t guys like this give funny girls a chance?
If you aren’t familiar with Newsom’s work, she sort of sounds like the lovechild of Ingrid Michaelson and Bjork, but with a baby voice. And she looks like a wood nymph. And she was making the vintage footage montage music videos before Lana Del Rey. So yeah, she’s cooler than her, and you, and everyone. This is her video for “Peach, Plum, Pear.”
So, yeah. I’m pretty sure your indie thermometer just exploded. Mine did. But past that and the jealousy factor (because I’m owning that) I would be much happier to see him with a funny lady. Who knows, maybe this girl is a really good time. But it would be really exciting to see him with a Lizzy Caplan type, or maybe an Aubrey Plaza. Because I’d like to imagine them raising hilarious children whom are destined to bring more laughter into the world. Then again, these girls are probably too funny and smart for Andy Samberg. And perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe in real life, he’s just your average bro and I never wanted his dick in a box in the first place.
(Image from FayesVision/WENN.com)
