It’s undeniable that Kristen Stewart is our generation’s Meryl Streep. It’s also undeniable that she’s going for her signature “whatever, I just rolled out of bed because ugh being famous is hard and I’m not going to wear a dress and brush my hair because that’s stupid” look. It wouldn’t be an appearance from K.Stew if she wasn’t flicking all of us with her complete indifference to being somewhere important. However tonight she gave us quite the treat by showing up to the Academy Awards on crutches. It’s new, it’s different and it gives her quite the nice hobble.
But why is she on crutches? No one knows. Like Adele’s son’s name and Charlize Theron’s beauty regimen, it’s a secret being closely guarded by Hollywood’s elite.
But here at Crushable we just can’t help but come up with a few possible explanations for why our fave gal pal’s using crutches.
1. She’s too lazy to walk upright. It’s hard! First it’s one foot. Then it’s the other foot. Then it’s the first foot AGAIN. So repetitive. As a fellow non-exerciser, I totally get it.
2. She broke her foot chasing after Robert Pattinson and/or broke it running away from Robert Pattinson and/or she broke it running toward Robert Pattinson. (Check Hollywood Life for all the details tomorrow.)
3. She twisted her ankle brushing her hair. Because it’s hard to brush your hair with your toes!
4. She wanted to have a reason for not smiling. No one’s going to make fun of the girl on crutches! Right. RIGHT!?!
5. She requested that her publicist find her a date with less personality than her. He brought her the crutches. They had a brief conversation and Kristen agreed that they could accompany her.