• Fri, Feb 22 2013

Adam Levine’s Women’s Clothing Line Will Make You Look Like Adam Levine, ‘But With Breasts And A Vagina’

Adam Levine launches new fragrance at Macy's NYC 2013

Adam Levine reveals new information about his clothing line.

Fresh off the success of his hypocrisy-scented perfume, Adam Levine is trying his hand at “designing” a celebrity clothing line of his very own for those who aspire to someday look as punchable as he does. It’s called “222,” and it will be sold at douchebag emporiums around the country. (J/k, it will be sold at KMart.)

When asked by E! News to describe the specific kind of clothing his line contains, he replied airily, ”It’s whatever you want it to be.” Translation: “I’ve been too busy having tantric sex with myself in front of mirrors to look at the clothes I have leased my name out to.”

He continued: “I enjoy, from the male perspective, something being effortless or casual. You don’t wanna be the guy that’s trying too hard in a room. Then you just look like an A-hole.” Adam Levine wouldn’t know anything about that! No siree.

But what if I, a lady, also want to look like an A-whole who tries too hard? What then? Luckily there’s a line for women too, which he describes as “like me but with breasts and a vagina.” Because if there’s one thing that attracts the fellas like no other, it’s a woman who looks like Adam Levine with breast implants. (On the upside, I guess there are more things on you to punch?)

But wait, Adam Levine! Besides looking like a transsexual version of you, what, in your opinion, makes a woman sexy?

“There’s so much sexy out there. My line will figure out a way to represent my convoluted and confusing opinion on what is sexy.”

Here is who Adam Levine has dated recently: Victoria’s Secret model Behati Prinsloo, Victoria’s Secret model Anne Vyalitsyna, former model Cameron Diaz, fashion model Arielle Vandenburg, and fashion model Angela Bellotte. Adam Levine’s idea of sexy is so confusing. How will we ever begin to decode it?

(Via E! Online)

Photo: WENN

 

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  • Slinxie

    Your disdain for Adam Levine is palpable…and I love it.