Taylor Swift Feels Us Losing Interest, Invites Her Exes To Write Songs About Her

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I think the tide might be turning against Taylor Swift. She had a good gig going for a while, mining the Hollywood dating pool for young Casanovas upon whom to base new impossibly catchy pop songs…that rude boy from The Jonas Brothers broke up with you over the phone?! You should let him have it! You’re with that werewolf boy now from Twilight? You have the same name?! Sing about it on SNL! Rub it in everyone’s face! Oh you’re…dating John Mayer, huh? That’s an interesting choice what with him being older than you, kind of a douche, and a noted serial dater, but okay! You’ll get a good song out of it and he’ll deserve it! As long as you don’t date anybody else for a little bit while you — oh you already are? Jake Gyllenhaal directly into Conor Kennedy directly into Harry Styles? And you’re only dating them for two months and falling deeply in love and buying property near them and then writing songs about them? Methinks you know better than this, young Taylor. You’re not a fifteen-year old girl twirling your curls on a porch swing anymore. You’re a grown-ass woman, and like the kids on Zoom!, I think this might be the year that you completely age out of the bracket in which that behavior is either cute or surprising.

And I think Taylor is starting to realize it. In a recent interview with InStyle UK, Taylor gives her many exes permission to do the same thing to her that she’s been making money off doing to them:

“If I’m gonna write songs about my exes they can write songs about me. That’s how it works. I’m not gonna complain about it. I’m not gonna sit there and say, ‘I’m the only one who can write songs about this relationship.’ It’s fair game.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-Swift or anything. Taylor’s music is actually a really big guilty pleasure of mine, and I think I understand the impulses that might lead a young woman famous from a young age to cruise through boyfriends looking for The One. But that said, and in response to your statement to InStyle — wake up, lady. First of all this is the first time that you’re really even admitting how heavily your exes figure into your music, which is extremely belated. Secondly, what the hell kind of song do you imagine Taylor Lautner or Conor Kennedy writing? Who other than me would listen to that? You have a ridiculous advantage here and you know it. And third of all, for the ones who are musicians — YEAH DUH they can write about you. We all knew that; you’ve been the one playing the victim card in all these situations. Today just happens to be the day you run out of unlimited swipes.

(Image: WENN.com)