“The Oscars are coming, the Oscars are coming!” shouted Seth MacFarlane as he spurred his horse through wind and driving rain, over slippery cobblestones. The good people of New Britain clustered at their windows, waiting excitedly for the moment when Seth’s long red cloak would come whipping into view, canon-fire lighting up the sky behind him as he introduced the nominees for Best Picture and tossed good-natured insults at Benjamin Franklin.
I think I got some of that wrong, but the Academy Awards are definitely this Sunday, and Seth MacFarlane is definitely hosting them. Maybe not on horseback and almost definitely in the year 2013, but the rest of the details are pretty similar. Sorry to disappoint you, I don’t know why I lied to you like that. But anyway, it’s Seth’s big night, and since he’s already said he won’t be hosting it again no matter how well it goes, we all have to pay really close attention so we don’t miss a single second of razor-sharp sarcasm and biting wit. I personally feel pretty confident that it’s gonna go well, but some others don’t share my optimism on that point, so here’s a list of Ten Reasons That We’ll Still Love Seth MacFarlane Even If He Bombs At The Oscars.
1. He’s rumored to be dating Emilia Clarke, so he probably has lots of inside scoop about the upcoming season of Game Of Thrones. We should be nice to him.
3. The movie Ted. ‘Nuff said.
4. Because he has this to say about gay rights:
“I’m incredibly passionate about my support for the gay community and what they’re dealing with at this current point in time. Why is it that Johnny Spaghetti Stain in fucking Georgia can knock a woman up, legally be married to her, and then beat the shit out of her, but these two intelligent, sophisticated writers who have been together for 20 years can’t get married?”
5. His middle name is ‘Woodbury’, you guys. That’s worth at least a couple cool points.
6. He supports the legalization of marijuana. You like to smoke, don’t you? Yeah, I could tell. It’s written all over your face.
7. He’s thirty-nine years old and he looks like that. I’m into it.
8. Because even if he messes up, it was Daniel Day-Lewis in there the whole time, just wearin’ his skin.
9. He hasn’t taken any time off from his shows like Family Guy and The Cleveland Show during this time. He’s been prepping for the Academy Awards without slacking on his normal voice-over duties, working ’150 hours a week’. Most likely an exaggeration, but probably not by much.
(Image: People via Bob D’Amico / ABC)