Get your fighting elbows on, royal ginger-chasers, because Prince Harry has a brand new girlfriend for you to to edge out of the way if you want to continue your desperate climb to the throne. Her name is Cressida Bonas, and don’t judge a book by its cover because she is neither a Shakespearean heroine nor a J.K. Rowling-created Ravenclaw. She’s a beautiful blonde lady who was photographed spending her twenty-fourth birthday with Harry in Switzerland, kissing him on the slopes and being bounced on Harry’s knee like a good little girl on Santa’s lap. So who is this girl? What’s her deal? Where does she come from? And most importantly…what does she want for Christmas?
1. Cressida is a model and aspiring actress who has apparently been in Harry’s vague friend circle for years. They were allegedly set up romantically through Princess Eugenie of York, daughter of Fergie (the Duchess one, not the Black Eyed Peas one), who knows both of them.
2. Her mother is Lady Mary-Gaye Georgiana Lorna Curzon, an ‘it girl’ in the 1960s and the heir to the Curzon banking fortune. She has five children with four different men, all of whom she is divorced from. Cressida’s father is Jeffrey Bonas, an…’entrepreneur and businessman’. So, super-rich guy, in case you don’t speak Wealthy.
3. Her half-sister is the model and actress Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe (it’s a land of long titles; its all they have), the subject of an unrequited crush from Harry’s brother Prince William, before he met his wife and baby bump flaunter Kate Middleton.
4. Coincidentally, Cressida went to Leeds University, which is the same school attended by Harry’s last long-term girlfriend, Chelsy Davy.
5. She was first linked to Harry in the summer of last year, after the premiere of The Dark Knight Rises. The pair never openly admitted it but THERE WAS CANOODLING.
So there you have it. Every piece of information we can glean off the internet in this glorious time of snowy kisses, new relationships, and saucy knee-bouncing. May it serve you well in your hunt for a crown.