• Thu, Feb 21 2013

Jennifer Lawrence Hates Josh Hutcherson, Also Puppies, Happiness And Smiles

Jennifer Lawrence Josh Hutcherson shortWell in today’s most inevitable news, Jennifer Lawrence hates her Catching Fire co-star Josh Hutcherson. Which makes sense because they’re not having sex with each other. And we all know that when two co-stars aren’t sleeping together, they’re attempting to murder each other. That’s Hollywood law. You can read all about in the Bible. Chapter 12. Section 2. Paragraph 9.

Our good friends at Star magazine risked everything to bring us behind-the-scenes stories from the most reputable anonymous sources, insiders and pals in the business.

The magazine alleges that Lawrence “recently broke down in tears during a quick trip to London,” quoting the so-called “friend” as saying, “She’s completely overwhelmed and irritable and is fighting with everyone.” Star says one of the victims of Lawrence’s supposed wrath is her Hunger Games co-star,Josh Hutcherson. The “insider” claims, “She recently exploded on poor Josh and says their friendship ‘is sof**king over.’” “They don’t even make eye contact unless they’re shooting a scene,” adds the “pal.”

What Star magazine didn’t report is the alleged conversation that bystanders overheard while waiting in line for the restroom at the SAG Awards. Supposedly Jennifer Lawrence whispered frantically into her phone while pretending to be peeing. Although insiders couldn’t make out the exact words, they do all agree they heard the following phrases: “hello Mr. Hitman” and “yes, Josh Hutcherson” and “I know, he is short, but that’s not why I called today” and “you heard right, I do love murder” and “not opposed to using dark magic to get the job done.”

Now before you start worrying about Josh Hutcherson, please know that he’s totally fine. He’s currently hidden away in one of Hollywood’s many safe houses that are reserved for feuding co-stars. While we’d love to get an update from him, we heard that Brandi Glanville’s his roommate and she’s keeping him very busy with tips on how to get to the tabloids before they get to you.

And that’s the latest for today’s “Things Jennifer Lawrence Totally Hates” column.

(Photo: Mr. Blue/WENN.com)

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  • Jules

    Hilarious!….I love how the timing of the alleged “fight” as well as the subsequent “not making eye contact unless they are in a scene together” is obviously untrue condifering filming for CF ended in December. Filming will not resume until next week……so, exactly when were cameras rolling? (LOL!). Star is that desperate for a story, that it doesn’t even matter that they claim they are fighting when they are not, they don’t even bother to get the film schedule to match their story.

    • Jenni

      Don’t worry about timing, we’re lucky to have such great insiders on our side, ready to spill these vital deets.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      LOL!

  • Jules

    And that’s “considering” not “confidering”.

  • Rlc

    lmao. You guys need to find something better to do with your time.

    • Jenni

      I know it Ric! I just, I don’t know, I try to think of other things to do with my time and my mind totally draws a blank. It’s just like what else is there to do with my time? What is time? Am I too old not to own a watch? Is God real?

  • http://twitter.com/tessummer16 Tessa Beshara

    Is this a joke?

  • LW

    Oh come on! I could make up a better story than that! Hahaha though the “not opposed to using dark magic to get the job done” nonsense was hilarious!

  • http://www.facebook.com/abbey.galloway.7 Abbey Brecale Galloway

    “I do love murder”

    I’m laughing so hard that I can’t breath omg this is too dumb.

  • Rotti Largo

    HAHAHAH, this is priceless. I think my writing would have been better at 5 years old. Good one…wait, this WAS a joke, right?

    • Jenni

      Actually Rotti, I remember you quite well from that kindergarten writing workshop we took together back in 1994 in upstate New York — and if I recall you writing was better than me then too. Oh you’ll always win Rotti, you will always win.

  • Taylor

    Oh gosh this is good you guys seriously. She hates josh puppies and happiness LOL of course it’s not true i mean really why so random you went from josh to puppies to smiles and happiness haha really you people should think more.

    • Jenni

      Hey Taylor! Thanks for the advice. What do you suggest we think about?

  • Jillian

    This is so pathetic! This was a joke right? Haha wow…please tell me this was just a sad joke….

  • http://twitter.com/Ivana2804 Ivana Cvetanovic

    You mean, they aren’t trying to murder each other WHILE sleeping with each other? I’m so disappointed.

  • Samantha

    Hahaha why would someone waste their time on something this stupid… please tell me this was a joke

  • Emmmma

    wait, they are actually best friends in real life.. right?

  • cute_28

    What?! Is this really true? Josh if your reading this please tell me this is not true. I mean c’mon they’re really good friends and almost laugh all the time and sometimes mistaken as lovers. Please jennifer I know we didnt met but please dont do this.

  • hiya

    This is complete and utter bull crap, terrible joke guys