Yesterday Miley Cyrus allegedly uploaded a photo of herself smoking a blunt to Instagram with the caption, ”High as fvck.” Everyone freaked out because WHAT!?! Miley Cyrus smokes drug things? When did this happen to our sweet little Hannah Montana? Who will the kids look up to now?
We all saw that special on Rock Center and learned that the only thing that stands between America’s youth and their transformation into meth lab enthusiasts was the sweet-faced little girl who we all watched grow up on TV. If you can’t trust a girl raised by a man who thinks it’s appropriate to pose seductively with his teenage daughter on the cover of a magazine, who can you trust? (Well, besides God. And Ryan Gosling.)
But then twist! Miley Cyrus tweeted out that she doesn’t even have Instagram. So everyone’s freaking out over an imposter. Just someone else with short hair who smokes and uploads photos under the Instagram name @Mileyxxcyrus.
Sighs of relief all around right? WRONG! Eonline.com reported on this very story and they don’t sound so sure that this isn’t a photo of Miley.
…but there is a coincidence we couldn’t help but notice. On what appears to be the smoker’s right ring finger (we’ve heard of smoke and mirrors, too), there’s a tattoo that strongly resembles Cyrus’ equals-sign ink, which she has on that same finger. Miley got the tat last February as a statement to support marriage equality. A rep from Cyrus’ camp was not immediately available for comment.
Ending a hypothetical statement with the phrase “a rep was not available for comment” is the journalistic equivalent of yelling “liar, liar pants on fire!” And to make these matters even worse, HuffPo jumped aboard the S.S Skeptical as well.
Cyrus appears to address and deny the marijuana photo on her Twitter, writing “I don’t have an Instagram,” though whoever manages the Instagram account “MileyxxCyrus” surely has access to many personal photos of the star.
So what are we to believe now? @MileyCyrus or @MileyxxCyrus? I mean if we really want to get all Boxcar Children up in here, we can go as far as to say that it’s possible that @MileyCyrus is the imposter and @MileyxxCyrus was the real one all along. I know, it would be crazy. But so was casting Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick…and that happened.
Moral of this story? Miley Cyrus might not be who you think she is. Or she may be exactly who you think she is. And you can take that deep thought straight to the bank.