It’s hard out there for
a pimp Ashlee Simpson right now, guys. She’s had a really tough year, what with her mom and dad getting divorced on account of his homosexuality, experiencing sister Jessica Simpson‘s epic fourteen-month pregnancy, and breaking up with her boyfriend, Boardwalk Empire star Vincent Piazza at the end of last year. These are dark times in the life of the woman known for fits of whimsy like lip-synching on Saturday Night Live, the song La La, and naming her child Bronx Mowgli. If those are the things that Ashlee does when her life is going well, then what does she do when things get a little dicey?
Welp, a lot of drinking, turns out. That’s the answer to that question. Ever since the breakup with Vincent, Ashlee’s been, shall we say, letting loose a little bit. If one were to make a haiku from the Radar Online post it would be something along the lines of:
the lesser simpson
grinds tiny bod on randos
she has lost control
According to a witness at Pink Taco, “She was downing drinks like there was no tomorrow. She asked for a straight shot and added it to her already mixed cocktail.” I mean yeah, that’s a big ‘ol warning sign, am I right? She’s already come under fire from losing a ton of weight and looking ‘drastically different’, now you’re at a bar with your new skinny self, you’re handed a mixed drink, probably not your first for the night, and you pour another shot into it? Yeah that’s a cry for help. That’s some frat house shit right there, little lady, and you have a four-year old at home, pull it together.
(Image: IZZY / WENN.com)