Jennifer Lawrence’s Boobs Have ‘A Life Of Their Own’, But No Oscar Nominations

Jennifer LawrenceJennifer Lawrence Academy Award nominated Jennifer Lawrence — has some thoughts about boobs to share with us, you guys. Yeah you heard me: BOOBS. We already knew that hers are uneven, but she has even more revelations for us. Gone are the days when reporters ask actors about their preparation for a movie role or about charities they’re particularly invested in. These days, you just get out your tripping-foot and stick out your microphone and wait for a starlet to stumble into you so you can ask questions about their jiggly bits. At the Disaronno BAFTA party last week, heat Celebrity News got a chance to talk to J-Law, and they went straight for that mammary goodness, getting to the bottom of the issue foremost in everyone’s mind this awards season…BREASTS. I was going to try to paraphrase the article they came up with from that pivotal interview, but I couldn’t do it justice, so here’s an excerpt:

“I think people are fascinated with breats [sic] that bounce. They are so used to seeing [fake ones].


“People are confused [that mine bounce]!”


Referring to the amount she was “jiggling” in her Dior gown last Sunday, she laughed: “My breasts have a life of their own.” (It’s true, she even claimed that she’s woken up to find that her “breasts have doubled in size” overnight!

Did you catch all that? Did you learn all that wisdom? Jennifer Lawrence not only has breasts, but they move around separately from her body and are worthy of discussion. It’s an important lesson that heat has taught us, which is if that if you get an actor to say a word like ‘breast’ or ‘fanny’ or ‘mancandy’ enough times, you can make a whole story out of it. It’s the same tactic that The New York Times used for their stunning retrospective on Sidney Poitier‘s bum-bum and Katherine Hepburn‘s ladyflaps.

Score one for journalism.


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    • Jules

      Alexis…what were you expecting??…something akin to an interview on Charlie Rose? or, the Actor’s Round table?. It’s HeatCelebrity News for Christsakes (LOL!.). I agree, an actress as accomplished as Jennifer Lawrence (two Best Actress Nominations at 22!) one would hope for an interesting,insightful, in-depth interview–but not from heat Celebrity News. Heat Celebrity News is the bananna split of the entertainment news world..not meant to be substantial…just fun (or not). However, instead of bringing attention to shallow as a kiddie pool entertainment “journalism”, you could ignore this kind of stuff and write about the very talented Jennifer Lawrence and her performance in Silver Linings Playbook (if you have indeed seen the film). I, for one, would be very interested to read your thoughts on the subject.

    • jenley2013

      What… jiggling?! That dress covered them up real good and seemed really stiff, so unless she was pulling her dress down, I couldn’t even see cleavage!!!

      (OMG that came off way creepier than I intended)