It looks like the Canadians knew Taylor Swift was trouble when she didn’t walk in… Taylor Swift never, ever, ever showed up to that concert in Canada… those Canadians are red with anger that Taylor Swift didn’t give them a refund… Okay, I tried. Look, Taylor Swift is reportedly being sued over a hoedown in Canada that she was supposed to perform at last August. The hoedown was canceled. According to the suit, Taylor got her cash before the concert, and the ticket company thinks she should return the money since they had to refund $1.8 million to angry country-music-loving Canadians, and Taylor never actually performed.
Taylor’s rep told TMZ she never made a deal with the ticket company and hasn’t even seen the lawsuit yet, which might further prove my theory that even Taylor Swift is surprised to learn about Taylor Swift each day.
But let’s talk about the real and very obvious solution here. Ever heard of a Canadian angel named Ryan Gosling? He’s been known to settle arguments like a tank-top-wearing superhero. It’s time to get Ryan on the case to fix this rift between Taylor and the Canadian hoedown-goers (or not-goers, I guess). This is how that mediation would go in my head:
The dissatisfied concert rep sits across a cozy coffee shop table from Taylor Swift, who’s busy scribbling down ideas for things that rhyme with Canadian. She’s writing a new song; it’s no big deal. Ryan Gosling sits at the table between them, casually sipping a cappuccino. “Hey girl,” he says to Taylor, “let’s fix this.” He looks at the rep: “Whaddya say?” And then both Taylor and the rep throw the $1.8 million at Ryan and he uses it to go buy a bunch of Girl Scout cookies, which he then hands out to the disappointed Canadian hoedowners as payment, and the world rejoices. And then he holds me in his arms and says, “Let’s get McDonald’s.” Oh wait, that was from another Ryan Gosling scenario I’m working on.
I don’t know about you, but I think we’ve got a perfect solution on our hands here.
(Photo: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com)