If you want proof that Miley Cyrus can’t do anything else besides play Hannah Montana and get tattoos, watch So Undercover. It’s about a “rough and tough” teenage girl who goes, you guessed it, undercover as a sorority girl to solve a huge crime conspiracy. Yeah, good choice putting Miley Cyrus, who can’t even enunciate like an educated 20 year old, in THAT role. She doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb or anything. Your little sister will probably love this movie, and the only thing worth sticking around for is a peek at Revenge’s Josh Bowman. If you’d like to lose two hours of your life imagining how a movie could at be mediocre if they had casted ANYONE else in the lead role, check it out.
If you want to watch a movie that makes living your life out as a musical seem like a very real possibility, watch Pitch Perfect. The movie is pretty much a glamorization of one of college’s geekiest extracurricular activities, a capella groups. It reaffirms the world’s love for Rebel Wilson, who plays Fat Amy and steals the whole movie. We also meet our new celeb crush who doesn’t seem totally out of reach, Skylar Astin. Most importantly, we hear so many “a ca” puns, watching this movie can become your new favorite drinking game. So if you want to laugh nonstop while reimagining your entire college experience with a soundtrack, rent this tonight.
If you’re looking to indulge in your vampire obsession with cartoons instead of the CW, sneak a peek at Hotel Transylvania. This movie is surprisingly hilarious and features a cast of Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg, Adam Sandler, Cee Lo Green and more. One of my personal highlights is probably the skeleton mariachi band. It IS kind of sad that an animated film is ten times more entertaining than any other movie people our age typically watch. What’s funny though is that Adam Sandler’s Dracula is tall and trim, when Adam Sandler is really just a chunk. If you feel like pretending you’re a kid again but hear jokes that are universally funny, catch this movie.
If you want a reminder of how your life probably is, give or take a few improvements or downgrades, watch Life Happens. It revolves around three women (Rachel Bilson, Krysten Ritter, and Kate Bosworth) trying to navigate the point in their lives where they’re supposed to be grown ups but still don’t have it all figured out. What separates this from every other cliché rom-com starring other trendy 20-somethings is that it’s way wackier and the female trio is genuinely entertaining. And who isn’t curious to see our beloved Don’t Trust the B in Apt 23 in a role where she’s actually a good person? Rachel Bilson steals a few good moments as a virgin who takes racy temp jobs, and the opening scene with Ritter and Bosworth lip-synching to “Ridin Dirty” wins you over immediately. Check this out if you’re down for a few laughs with a movie that’s halfway relatable to your own life.
Finally, if you want to watch a movie that built up a lot of hype, but is really just a piece of shit, go watch Savages. It’s all naked, attractive white people, and evil, drug-dealing Latinos. The only positive of this movie = Taylor Kitsch naked.
So that’s it. This list probably looks like it belongs to someone with multiple personalities, but so does my list of Pandora stations. For the record, my Katy Perry station plays 90s hardcore rap music, and the theme song from Toy Story (“You’ve Got a Friend in Me”) plays on my Party Rock Anthem station. So maybe I am crazy, but that’s for another article. Tell me whether you agree with my movie reviews, and if there’s any others worth checking out!