• Wed, Feb 13 2013

Kim Kardashian Now Just Mere Days Away From Morbid Obesity

Kim Kardashian pregnant

Here’s the bad news: Kim Kardashian’s using her pregnancy as a reason to eat whatever she wants. WHATEVER! As we now know from the investigation team at Daily Mail Fatass Watch Incorporated, she bought TWO frozen yogurts. That’s TWO more than any human being should eat. Frozen yogurt? She might as well goto Costco, buy a barrel of mayonnaise and shoot it into her veins. No I’m sorry that’s being too generous. I mean there’s splurging and there’s SPLURGING and there’s DIABETES. I don’t even know what to say about this really, besides to beg her to get help asap. Like as soon as she finishes reading this article and sharing it on her Twiter, she should get help.

Medical experts now say she’s just one frozen yogurt away from turning into a human blob. Just one. And that’s without toppings. God help her if she dares to even reach for those sprinkles.  Why, she’d be rushed onto the set of TLC’s upcoming docudrama “Incredibly Fat People with Incredibly Popular Sex Tapes” so fast than Kris Jenner wouldn’t even time to pitch her own version of the show to E!.

Is there a silver lining to this entire story? Yes, yes there is. And it’s that despite teasing the story on the homepage as something horrific, they admit in the actual article that she may (and this is a strong may) have been purchasing the second cup of frozen yogurt for someone else. 

But on Tuesday afternoon, the couple decided to enjoy some downtime together with a trip to Pinkberry frozen yoghurt shop. After casting her eye over several flavours and toppings, Kim decided on a flavour for herself, as well as carrying another portion, believed to be for either her mother Kris or sister Khloe, who joined the pair on the outing.  The pregnant star was seen carrying what appeared to be a cup of caramel flavour yoghurt with caramel curls on top, as well as a plain flavour.

Let’s just pray that the plain flavour (you win Britain) was for her. And you know I’m saying that for totally duh reasons.
(Photo: JP/JFXimages/WENN.com)

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  • skanks -r-desperate

    ugh …a short legged piss stankin’human toilet …lawd a’mighty ..
    no self awareness whatever ..
    people laughin’ their azzez off in paris…whew …

  • Jack Meoff

    I used to say this about Kim: “Put a bag over her head and I would f uck her!” Considering the way she looks now, however, I wouldn’t f uck her with your d ick! And I am “de Prez”!

    ROTFLMAO!!! I am a f ucking riot!!!

  • K.

    Are you f*cking kidding me? You’re demonizing her for buying FROZEN YOGURT?! That is NOT AT ALL equivalent to eating mayonnaise; frozen yogurt is not even close to being compared to mayonnaise. And guess what? Do you know who eats two servings of forzen yogurt? NORMAL PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. Some people just want two servings, so guess what – they eat it. You need to calm down and stop calling everyone who doesn’t survive off of carrots (and god forbid eat something unhealthy when carrying another life inside of them) “morbidly obese”. You are disgusting.

  • R

    OMG this is the most ridiculous thing i have read, im not a fan of kim but at all but OMG “she bought TWO frozen yogurts. That’s TWO more than any human being should eat. Frozen yogurt? She might as well goto Costco, buy a barrel of mayonnaise and shoot it into her veins.” i dont understand people like you, its depressing that you exist and also its depressing that you’re allowed to write on a website..or write at all. NO im not exaggerating you’re just really, REALLY pathetic and inhumane.

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  • dumb

    frozen yogurt? wtf? that is really not a big deal. you sound stupid.