Hot on the heels of his perceived Grammy snub, Justin Bieber has found himself in a public feud with someone the vast majority of Americans would not even recognize: Patrick Carney, the drummer from The Black Keys. And to make matters worse, I’m pretty sure he’s losing.
Allow me to explain. The other night after the Grammy awards, TMZ cornered Grammy winner Patrick Carney, despite the fact that he’s not the kind of person they would normally care about. Hoping to stir the pot, they pressed him on the issue of Justin Bieber, and he obliged with a somewhat bitchy quote:
“Grammys are for like music, not for money… and he’s making a lot of money. He should be happy.”
This is obviously false; Grammys are for all sorts of things, but judging from Mumford and Sons‘ inexplicable victory over Frank Ocean, music is not one of them. Regardless! Being the bigger celebrity by a factor of ten, Bieber should probably have pretended he was too famous to pay attention to anything the drummer from the Black Keys says or does, but he did not. And he wasn’t even funny about it:
Cool comeback, bro! Isn’t Justin Bieber friends with rappers? I would not expect him to come up with a clever retort on his own, but I feel like Drake or someone could have at least helped him out on this one. This tells us one key thing about Justin Bieber that we already knew: he is not witty, but he is surrounded by so many ass-kissing yes men that he has zero awareness of this. In the future, I suggest having any and all public feud statements proofread by the rapper friend of his choice. Preferably Lil’ Wayne.