Want to learn how to look like Jennifer Lawrence on the red carpet? Of course you do! Who else would you want to look like on the red carpet for… what are normal people on red carpets for these days? There’s a red throw carpet in my living room… I guess that counts?
Lucky for us, J.Law’s trainer Dalton Wong is revealing the Silver Linings Playbook/Hunger Games actress’s secrets to looking so gorgeous. My first guess would be: Have the flu and/or walking pneumonia. But apparently I’m wrong. The main secret? Don’t be bloated. It’s that simple.
Just avoid the bloat at all costs, whether that means bathing in Epsom salts, eating healthy (stop, the shock is too much), or drinking water (that’s gotta be a typo, right?) and chamomile tea. That way you’ll be able to fit into that skin-tight dress. Or you could just, I don’t know, get the dress tailored to fit your body and wear some Spanx, but what do I know? Before prom, I bathed in tap water and drank Earl Grey. I was all over the place.
Oh, and apparently you also have to do healthy stuff after the awards are over? Wong said:
“It’s the end of a loooong awards season and after a big event like Bafta it’s my job to make sure Jennifer is feeling good and to help her get over any fatigue she may be feeling. Especially important as she’s about to step on yet another plane. This morning I made sure she had a healthy, protein shake for breakfast and an energising carrot and ginger juice to keep her fighting fit.”
But what about my typical morning meal of bacon, bacon, and more bacon with a side of Canadian bacon? How else am I supposed to work on getting that bloat back after all that?
Oh well, I’m off to try to find the secret to making my boobs uneven like J.Law’s. Wish me luck!
And I better not see any bloat on that Oscars carpet, Miss Lawrence. Keep drinking that… what was it again? Oh, right. Water.
(Photo: Brian To, WENN.com)