There’s only one thing I love more than smelling like a Rite-Aid version of a celebrity: watching them incriminate themselves into hypocrisy. In 2011, Adam Levine tweeted the following:
Fast forward to February 2013. Adam Levine’s new fragrance line, creatively titled “Adam Levine,” has just been released. And in case you’re wondering, both the fellas and the ladies can now smell like the falsetto-favoring lead singer of a pop band. Ugh, I was just beginning to begrudgingly like you a little bit, Adam Levine! You made me giggle last week on SNL and everything. For shame.
So what made him change his tune about celebrities having fragrance lines being douche weasels (I’m paraphrasing)?
“I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I didn’t have the creative control, otherwise it would have wound up being something that I didn’t endorse, and I’d be stuck standing here feeling like an asshole.”
Ummmm, you should kind of feel like one anyway, Adam. Because there are more celebrities with perfume and cologne lines than there are stars in the sky, trees in the forest, and aging red pubes on Carrot Top‘s head. Every time I see a new celebrity fragrance, it’s like the eau de terlet box is whispering, “Don’t forget about me, sad little 8th grade girl. I’m terrified of becoming irrelevant so I’ve come up with an easy way to make money and stay put on drugstore shelves for years to come!”
If you’re still interested in sampling a little eau de Levine but aren’t sure you can afford it, I’m predicting it’ll end up in between Davidoff’s Coolwater and your dad’s British Sterling in no time.