I’m pretty sure we’re witnessing greatness as we speak. Those legs. That smoldering stare. Oh, I’m not talking about Gisele Bundchen. I’m talking about that baby she’s holding that looks like it’s backstage at a Versace fashion show. Vivian Lake Brady, don’t get out of bed for less than a million dollars.
I know I’m not the only one who thinks Gisele and Tom Brady’s new daughter is already following in her mom’s stiletto-wearing, crossed-leg-walking footsteps (but really, what is with them walking like they’re avoiding hot lava?), based on the new picture Gisele shared on her Facebook page this morning with the caption, “Love is everything!!! Happy friday, much love to all.”
Maybe it’s just the angle of the camera, but Vivian’s legs look a mile long. I imagine her first steps will be taken while snooty fashion editors look on and crazed photographers snap her picture while yelling, “Fierce, darling!” Don’t try to convince me this baby isn’t destined for greatness. It’s in her genes.
And she’s already got Tyra Banks’ classic smize down pat. You know when Tyra goes, “Look at my eyes like this, and then look at my eyes like this,” and all she really does it go from staring blankly to squinting and perking up her body? Well, it looks like Vivian has been watching some Top Model reruns, and she’s a fast learner. I feel like those eyes are staring into my soul and telling me, “Buy this baby dress.” Sorry, Vivian, but I think it’s too small for me.
Don’t be surprised if in a couple of months Vivian Lake (great supermodel name, if you ignore the fact that it sounds like a place where fancy rich people have picnics with parasols and portable table clothes) is up there on the catwalk bringing one of those creepy computer-animated strutting-baby diaper commercials to life. Come to think of it, this whole concept sounds like my worst nightmare. I take it all back.