Let me start by telling you they still haven’t found The Cure on The Vampire Diaires. I know. What the hell are we still watching for? There are way too many filler episodes. Give us something that is actually happening instead of an entire episode of more backstory. We get it, Shane is creepy; he is the secret villain. Now let him go be villainous so the show can move on. We all know they can’t be cured or else The Vampire Diaries isn’t an appropriate title. And it’ll be too weird if only SOME of them take it and others don’t. Why would you make yourself a mortal and give others, particularly any enemies, the advantage of being able to kill you?
Somewhere along the line, I’ve really begun to get over Elena, and while many have been into Caroline as the show’s new It Girl, I think Rebekah is the dark horse in this race. We all relate WAY too much when she acts out and does crazy shit when she’s mad, and are constantly won over by her heartfelt confessions about the pain behind her actions. This episode sealed the deal when she told Stefan that she and Elena aren’t that different; they both sacrifice for the people they love. When Elena does it, it looks like heroism, but when Rebekah does it, she is always accused of cruelty. I’d call having to live 1000 years with every 9 out of 10 boyfriends dying a cruel life. Rebekah is awesome for all the shit she’s dealt with. Her family and “friends” repeatedly stab her to get her out of the way. All the guys she loves either die or like someone else. Being 17 wasn’t too bad for me, but having to feel that way for 10 centuries cannot be okay. She doesn’t apologize for what she does, and why would she have to? Whereas Elena acts all “I feel so guilty” but then screws everyone else over to stay alive anyways, at least Rebekah is honest and says “If you don’t die, I will. So guess who’s dying?”
Okay, Rebekah versus Elena rant over. While Elena and the gang are “Into the Wild” as the episode’s title so subtly implies, Klaus is stuck in the Gilberts’ house seething over his brother Kol’s death. I’m really excited, because when Klaus gets sad, he gets reckless, and I want to watch him get all “Bane on Gotham City” and wreak havoc all over Mystic Falls. Tyler comes to laugh at him being stuck, and of course Caroline is in the middle trying to make them play nice. And all of a sudden, Klaus gives Caroline a WEREWOLF BITE! WTF, Klaus? Aren’t you like, in LOVE with her? If a guy gave me the supernatural equivalent of a fatal rabies bite, I might get the message he’s not that into me. So we sit through these random lengths of time as Klaus gloats in having bitten Caroline, acting as if he’s doing really well at playing “hard to get” and then Caroline blows his mind by telling him she’s knows he’s love in with her. Oh, you thought you were slick, Klaus. Boom, roasted. Then Caroline almost dies, and like the 15 year old girl that Klaus actually is, when he’s about to lose her he goes running back to her and gives her his blood to save her. Pathetic. Which is actually what Tyler actually calls him at the beginning of the episode, so props to you for knowing that from the start, Mr. Lockwood.
Next week, I need to see this “Silas”, the first immortal being who can bring back all the dead people back to life. My prediction? Silas will bring these people alive, giving the show a bajillion characters to use in different storylines, but there will be no cure buried with Silas. Or if there is, it will somehow be destroyed. Or expired. What if the Cure is like a gallon of milk? That ain’t gonna last 1000 years, homie. Some questions I’m left with for next week: Where were Matt and his abs this week? Jeremy was shirtless for 10 seconds and I wanted to puke. Can Shane die next week? I’m over him. Can we start doing TVD promos with Rebekah and the Salvatore Brothers instead of Elena? Will we ever get a witch (preferably Sabrina, the Teenage Witch) to be Bonnie’s buddy? Can they get rid of Bonnie’s dad? He’s like the buzzkill at an awesome party. And please, can the Cure be discovered next week so we can all move on with our mortal lives?