Have you heard the good news? Jenny McCarthy, annoying young MTV babe of the 90s, has gone and gotten herself a whole new schtick: annoying ageless late night babe of the 2010s.
I say “ageless” because she now has that plastic-y, surgical sheen that makes it difficult to date her. (She’s 40 in earth years.) You know you’re in trouble when you look fake standing next to Kendra Wilkinson:
Is she in a race with Lindsay Lohan to see whose cheeks can hold the most foreign matter? Beauty standards are weird.
But on her appearance on The Today Show earlier this week, the only body mod she wanted to talk about was her foot tattoo, which she’d obtained the day before, only to cruelly cram it into a high heel:
I’ve never gotten a foot tattoo, but I know people who have, and your foot swells up so much the next day you can barely wear your old Chucks, let alone a torture shoe like this. I’ll admit I’m pretty impressed with the amount of pain she must be smiling through, but only in the same way I’m impressed with how many shots to the nuts Johnny Knoxville can take.
To get back on task, Jenny McCarthy has had plastic surgery recently, and it is obvious. That said, it’s not inconsistent with her image, and I’m pretty sure she’s not ashamed. If you would like to see an eerily baby faced Jenny McCarthy make crude gestures and rape jokes while celebrities laugh uncomfortably, you may tune into VH1 at 10:30pm tonight.