Despite Forcing Us To Lose Our Virginity To Obama, Lena Dunham Didn’t Even Bother To Cast A Ballot

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Remember that time Lena Dunham made herself the voice of our generation and then ruined everything? I do. Because before Girls no one made a big deal that my parents paid for everything while I wrote in my diary all day about my roommate’s sex life. Now when I tell people what I do, they’re all like, “loves it! You’re such a Hannah Horvath! I know a great guy I can set you up with, he has all kinds of sporadic facial hair and he loves giving surprise golden showers!”

So yeah, I’m not the hugest fan of Girls. Just because I hate-watch it every week doesn’t mean I enjoy myself while I do it. Things I also don’t enjoy doing? Defending Lena Dunham’s choice to compare voting for the first time to having sex for the time in an avant-garde Obama campaign video — and then finding out months later that she didn’t even vote. Yep, that’s right ladies. News just came in from Buzzfeed that she didn’t cast a ballot in the 2012 election. She did it alllll for the nookie. Nookie, in this case, being a euphemism for publicity.

Oh and it gets worse. So, so much worse. The Gawker Investigation Team dug up a tweet that she herself tweeted saying she did vote. Which means only one thing — she lied to us. She straight up looked in our eyes, wormed her way into our conscience and lied to us. I would never have chosen to lose my virginity in a voting booth while simultaneously voting for Obama if I knew she was deceiving us the whole time. Oh sweet Lennay Kekua in the heavens above, when will the madness stop?

If you’re a lawyer and you’re reading this, we need your help. How do you go about impeaching the self-appointed soapbox of your generation? What are the correct legal channels to ending this nonsense once and for all? We must be freed from this non-voting twenty-something who makes more money than us before things get even more out of hand.

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    • Maggie

      She actually did vote, just by affidavit. Perhaps do a little better research next time?

      • Jenni

        How was I supposed to know at 8:30 A.M that she’d tweet at 1:30 P.M that she voted by affidavit? I’m only a time travel beginner at the moment.

      • Maggie

        Oh yeah I forgot, your job is based around stupid rumors and you could give a fuck if they’re true. Journalistic integrity for the win!

      • Jenni

        I could give a fuck. Sometimes 2 or 3. But I draw the line at 4. That’s too many to give.