Naomi Campbell Is On The Face – Is There A Better Reason To Watch?

The Face Contestants

Naomi Campbell is on The Face and that’s the reason you should be watching it.  You know why? Cause she throws cell phones at assistants and she’s the ultimate model diva. Miva. Mova?

You get it. But there are good reasons to watch it other than waiting for that sweet Naomi Campbell outburst – the clothes, the makeup, the chance to watch girls’ dreams get crushed, solely based on their face, body, and the way that they walk. Getting to oggle host Nigel Barker in all his fabulousness (let’s be honest, he was the best part of America’s Next Top Model). You also get two other lovely models, Karolina Kurkova the Czech powerhouse model and quirky Coco Rocha (real first name Mikhaila; still wins coolest name ever contest).

This ain’t no America’s Next Top Model. All they (the contestants) wanna do is be The Face - which means competing in model events, under the careful mentoring and grooming (get it?) of their established model coaches. Then, the winner ultimately becomes a signed model and spokesperson for Ulta Cosmetics. But, you see, Naomi Campbell, Coco Rocha, and Karolina Kurkova are competing as well. They need to pick the right girl to be on their team; the one who will make it to the end and be crowned the model winner. Just like being lined up to be picked in gym class, the hopeful competitors strut their stuff in order to be chosen by one of our fabulous supermodel judges/coaches.

The open casting call has our model-hopefuls running like they’re in Pamplona to impress the producers Nigel Barker in order to be considered for the original 24 – to be fatefully whittled down to the final 12. We get short introductions to the contestants, including one who absolutely loses it when seeing Naomi, then subsequently gets judged by America. Once the 24 are picked by whatever means are deemed good to make a modeling show, the ladies are thrown into their first “challenge”. Boom – no makeup, one-shot picture. Ready, go! Our judgey couture gowns are on! See, you can’t Britney Spears your way through the casting call (that’s a lip syncing reference). You gotta be on point, a natural beauty, know how to work that camera with your smize. Some contestants hold it down, others have no clue what they’re doing. But, the judges only eliminate 2 girls in this round. Which, of course, means that modeling is more than just being a pretty face. Duh.

Next round is walking the runway, bitches! Obviously the key to Paris, Milan, NYC, and London. Nothing too ridiculous, just don some heels, a bikini and a giant hat to cover your face. The focus here is solely the walk. Again, nothing too exciting. Only one girl sort of falls, but not enough to get me through the day thinking/laughing about it again and again…and again. BOO. Not even a catty remark from Naomi, yet. Rest assured, it will be released at some point. I have faith. 4 more girls are dropped.

Final round: a 180 from the first round. Now the contestants can do their hair, makeup and clothes any way they want and then take a photo. The photo will determine which supermodel wants that girl on their team — the goal being that the supermodel coaches think that THEIR chosen girl will ultimately win. If more than one supermodel wants the contestant, then the contestant chooses. Ah, the power has shifted, if only for mere minutes. Ooooobviously Naomi has the advantage here. Unless you’re boring. There are a couple contestants that all 3 supermodels want, most that get 1 or 2 votes…others that get none. Womp womp. One girl actually sobs her way back from elimination and lands on Team Coco. Hmmmm. Good tactic. I applaud you, model-wannabe. It’s a bitch eat bitch world out there, even though none of these bitches actually eat. Anything you got, use. This is MODELING.

Finally, the 12 are chosen. They will go on to compete in other competitions as shown in the previews – such as wearing wedding dresses and living in one quasi-house with 12 other girls who are competing against each other.

Here’s the bottom line: you probably won’t get as much drama as you will with America’s Next Top Model, but The Face seems to be a little more professional and serious. As serious as a reality show about modeling can be. Plus, as in life, the bonus of not seeing Tyra Banks is always a step in the right direction. There’s no real token this girl or token that girl  like there would be with other modeling competitions. No real theme or crazy outliers. There were plenty of American Idol-esque sob and survivor stories. I guess if that’s the motivation you need to get you through a photographer yelling at you, eating 300 calories a day and running the risk of dodging a cell phone attack, then good on yah. My front walker and favorite contestant so far is Devyn. She’s tall, she’s got short hair and she’s geared to win without any craziness. Yet.

I’ll be watching to see how this progresses. If anything, someone is bound to have a wardrobe malfunction or take a spill on the runway. Hopefully wearing a ridiculous Chiquita banana ensemble or, I dunno, running through Brooklyn trying not to run into a hipster instagram photo shoot. You all know you want SOMETHING to hate on when watching beautiful people do nothing but take pictures all day. Now smize! Smize, my pretties! Muahahaha.

(Photo: Oxygen)

You can reach this post's author, Carling Uhler, on twitter.
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