Ryan Gosling just cast his girlfriend Eva Mendes is his upcoming movie How to Catch a Monster. This is a horrible idea for so many reasons. The biggest reason being there are very low odds they’ll still be together by the time the movie premieres.
And you know what that means. The entire focus shifts from the movie to the awkward red carpet reconciliation that will go down the movies comes out. The questions won’t be along the lines of “what did you find to be the most challenging aspect of catching a monster” and more like, “do you think Eva Mendes tripped you by accident? Because it looked like she saw you coming and then stuck her foot out.”
To add insult to the injury Ryan Gosling gave himself, it’s not like Eva Mendes is a wonderful actress. She’s not Jessica Chastain or Meryl Streep or Sally Field or any woman who would make the tabloid covers worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed her very much in Hitch. I truly believed she fell for Will Smith in the movie. But I didn’t leave the theater thinking “she’s Oscar material.” More like, “my friend (not me!) needs some dating help and my friend (still not me!) wants to know if this Hitch guy really exists.”
But you know what, let’s take a page out of Sliver Linings Playbook and pretend that they’re still going to be dating when this movie premieres. The press will still be all about them. I can already hear the questions in my head.
“What was it like having Ryan Gosling be your director? In the movie (forced laughter) of course!”
“So Ryan tell us, was it difficult to watch Eva Mendes having sex with that monster, after she caught him?”
So Ryan, honey, if you’re reading this. It’s not to late to un-cast her. Just say you made a mistake, that she’s actually too good for this role and she should leave herself open to something better. Then take her out for dinner and forget the whole thing happened.
(Photo: Ian Wilson/WENN.com)