Though I guess it’s always nice to have confirmation from a licensed professional. InTouch has revealed the six-page long results of a psychological evaluation of Kris Jenner from her divorce with Robert Kardashian.The thing is, it’s sort of like when magazines bring in plastic surgeons to tell us that Mama Elsa has had a couple of facelifts. It’s like, if this is all it takes to be a shrink and charge high-profile clients $175 an hour, I can start tomorrow. Here’s what we learned:
1. Kris has “hystrionic and narcissistic traits.”
1a. Since this shrink apparently does not know how to spell the word “histrionic,” he seems unlikely to be real.
2. “Imulsivity” is not a word, so log that under the “Doctors totally make typos in official reports all the time” column.
3. Kris needs her “specialness to be mirrored.” So she dresses her daughters like her? Makes sense.
4. She is immature and impulsive. Okay duh. How else could you explain this?
5. Kris “may occasionally show bad judgment.” What, you mean like anonymously leaking the rumor that Bruce isn’t Kylie’s real dad? Hmm…
6. Last but not least, Kris “tends to be somewhat selfish, pleasure orientated, narcissistic, and manipulative.” It’s hard to even know where to begin with this one, besides the fact that “orientated” is, once again, not a word. Evidence for these claims include: a. everything she’s ever done and b. most recently, Robert Kardashian’s journal that alleges child abuse and (more) adultery.
So yeah, alert the presses. We know have a doctor’s confirmation of everything we’ve always known to be true about the world’s most terrifying momager. Everyone, you now have my permission to open your own psychiatry clinic.
(Image: Joseph Marzullo / WENN.com)