If you, like me, have stayed awake at night wondering what Lady Gaga requests in her dressing room, and wondering if the Oompa Loompas in her closet look more 1970s Wonka or 2000s, and whether she takes one diamond or two in her tea, you’ll be delighted to discover that the singer’s tour rider was just released.
Gaga’s currently embroiled in a legal battle with her former assistant. A court document related to the case reveals the tour rider outlining what Gaga required in her dressing room during her Monster Ball Tour. They’re totally normal requests — if you’re Lady Gaga.
Actually, considering this is a woman who once wore an outfit covered in Kermit the Frog dolls, you might be surprised to learn that a lot of the items on the rider are simply the kinds of demands we’ve come to expect from your run-of-the-mill, non-meat-dress-wearing divas.
Gaga demands white leather couches and “silver statins [sic] draped over the walls.” She also wants fan art and rock posters. There are also a lot of lavender things requested (towels, candles, soap), or “lavendar” as Gaga misspells it. I’m worried that these “misspellings,” as we philistines call them, are actually the correct spellings of the weird things Gaga likes, and someone is getting a strict talking to for getting lavender products instead of lavendar.
The time where interpreting the correct spelling is most important is with Gaga’s most outrageous yet most unsurprising request: a “manquin [sic] with puffy pink public [sic] hair.” One can only assume that means “mannequin” with “pubic” hair. I have several questions related to this request. One, is it a male mannequin or a female mannequin? Two, does it have to be a different mannequin at each show? Does her assistant have a stock-pile of mannequins with pink pubic hair? Is there a specific color pink Gaga would prefer? Bubblegum is nice, but sometimes you’re more in the mood for magenta. How puffy should the hair be? Don’t be so modest, Gaga! Tell us what you really want!
Personally, I’m absolutely shocked a former assistant would be less than pleased with Gaga. Sometimes a lady just wants some company on the road. If a mannequin with pink hair down there won’t do it, I don’t know what will.
(Photo: Cathy Gibson, PacificCoastNews.com)