Young Harry Styles from One Direction received a stripper for his 19th birthday this weekend. He also received a phone call from his grandmother where she said, “happy Birthday Harold Doll” and he said, “Grandma, I told you not to call me that” and she said, “Harold, I left my hearing aids at the bingo, I cannot hear you.” But no one’s talking about that phone call. Nope, we’re a country obsessed with sex. So all anyone cares about is this stripper. And that’s fine. I like strippers. I saw Magic Mike. I get it. I know that this stripper probably got her start in Tampa Chan-Crawford-Style.
I also know that there was a lot of alcohol drinking going down during Stripper-
Gate-2K13, A LOT. So much that I have to warn you that just reading this rundown of it all might break your seal.
The group of 40 friends drank 99 margaritas, 20 Jägerbombs, ten bottles of wine, beer and several bottles of Perrier-Jouët champagne in just three hours at Rita’s Bar and Dining, in Dalston, East London. Styles, who picked up the £2,000 bill, told a national newspaper it was a ‘great night’.
99 margaritas. That’s a lot. Like 97-98 more than I usually have when I’m out. So wow. I’m kinda impressed thinking about it. Also kinda horrified. Also somewhat mystified Mostly because there aren’t any reports that they all spend the next day yakking their brains out. And i’m pretty sure that drinking margaritas, jagerbombs, wine, beer and champagne all in one night will do that to you. At least on this side of the pond.
But what do I know. I didn’t have a stripper at my 19th birthday. Or any of my subsequent birthdays. So maybe it just means I don’t know how to appropriately celebrate my birthday.
(Photo: Will Alexander/Karl Piper/WENN.com)