How To Talk About Girls With Your Friends

Girls HBO cast

You: Did you watch Girls last night?

Your friend: Um yeah, it was, I don’t know. That one sex scene was weird.

You: Right!? I thought the same thing. Like ew. Does anyone really do that? In real life?

Your friend: Um no. But actually, yes.  Remember that time in college that I hooked up with that gross guy?

You: Which one…

Your friend: Ha.The guy who sleep-peed on my computer junior year?

You: YES! Oh my god, I forgot about him…but yes! Whatever happened to your computer?

Your Friend: Um, he offered to pay me to replace it, then never did. So yeah, that sucked. Anyways, last night reminded me exactly of him. Sometimes this show is my life. Like Lena Dunham, are you stalking me?

You: I know though. Like that scene with Marnie this week was like looking into a mirror. A more Manhattan-y mirror, but a mirror nonetheless.

Your Friend: I know, how skinny did she look when she took her shirt off?

You: Too skinny! She needs to gain weight.

Your Friend: Yeah, especially in that scene where she’s about to have sex. I was like whoa, gain some weight.

You: But she is so pretty.

Your Friend: Attainably pretty, in the way that she’s someone you could actually know.

You: She’s not like Lena Dunham…

Your Friend: What do you mean?

You: You know what I mean.

Your Friend: Um, you’re not allowed to say that.

You: I know, I know. I’m a horrible person.

Your Friend: Fact.

You: But you know what part I hated?

Your Friend: Every part, you always hate every part.

You: Haha, true, But I really hated that scene where Hannah ate miniature pies while taking a shower.

Your Friend: NO ONE DOES THAT!

You: I know, it doesn’t even make sense. Why would someone do that?

Your Friend: Also, we need to talk about Shoshanna’s apartment. What is it? A studio? Is that what it is? Because isn’t she in college? I don’t get it.

You: Well that’s like Hannah’s apartment. It’s “shabby”, but it’s also HUGE. How can she possibly afford that…and a karaoke machine? I’m just jealous.

Your Friend: Of Hannah?

You: Yeah, and Lena. She’s just so rich. I was reading an article about her this weekend. She has like 10 book deals, another TV show deal and an amazing apartment.

Your Friend: Also a famous boyfriend.

You: Yeah, he’s fun. Get it?

Your Friend: Ha, yes. I just want her to admit she’s privileged  That’s all. Just like admit that being rich helped you to get where you are today.

You: Exactly. Then I wouldn’t hate her so much. I read the best blog about that last week that summed it all up perfectly.

Your Friend: I hate her so much.

You: But I love the show so much.

Your Friend: Same. But I also hate it.

You: I hate it more than I’ve ever hated a show.

Your Friend: Ugh, I know. Is it showing early again this week?

You: I hope so, I can’t wait a whole week to see what happens.

(Photo: Mashable)

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