• Sat, Feb 2 2013

Nicole Kidman Assures Us She Can ‘Finally Move’ Her Face Again, But What About Her Lips?

19th Annual Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards

Hey, good news guys!  Nicole Kidman has: a.) finally admitted that she’s used Botox incessantly, and b.) assures us that she’s stopped, because all you need are good genes and exercise to acquire that “frozen” look.

I don’t know if perhaps she assumed that because she admitted this to an Italian magazine, it wouldn’t make headlines or if she really thinks people are that fucking stupid, but she now claims that she’s au naturale and Botox-free:

“I did try Botox, unfortunately, but I got out of it and now I can finally move my face again.  I wear sunscreen, I don’t smoke and I take care of myself, and I am proud to say that,” she proclaimed. “Anybody can do anything to themselves — I don’t judge — but personally, I believe in being physically fit. That’s how I was raised.”

Uh, good for you Nicole. Really, that’s great. And you know what?  You’re beautiful.  You really are, and I’ve always thought so.  But after a simple “Nicole Kidman before and after” Google Image search (do it, you won’t be disappointed) I am now even more certain that being “physically fit” can change the appearance of your body, sure, but it cannot completely alter your entire face.

Also, you can’t claim to be “completely natural” when your upper lip could serve as a flotation device in the event of a plane crash.  Seriously, that thing gets bigger and bigger every time I see it waltzing down a red carpet.  Two things I do NOT understand about lip injections: 1.) Why anyone would ever want lips that could be a screen double for The Blob; and 2.) Why female celebrities lie about it and act like it’s how they’ve always looked?

Don’t get me wrong, there are some celebrities who do it right.  Jennifer Garner, for example.  You wouldn’t even know she had fillers unless you did another one of those super handy (and awesomely time-consuming) Google image searches.  But Courteney Cox?  Woof. She looks more and more like a Real Housewife every year.  Stop fucking with your face! You used to be naturally beautiful! It’s almost as bad as the celebrities who have a “deviated septum” so they hack off half of their honkers and expect us not to notice (Jennifer Aniston, I’m looking at you).  Bitches — PLEASE.  When it’s dry in my house during the winter, yeah I snore a little. And I have had sinus problems since before I could properly spell the word “sinuses.”  I sincerely doubt that if I were to seek medical attention for this non-issue, a doctor would suggest cutting off the tip of my nose or shaving down the bone to resolve it.

I understand the immense pressure these beauties are under to stay in competition with younger actresses.  It just pains me to see women I honestly respect as actors look like caricatures of themselves because of their insecurities.

Kudos, Nicole, for laying off of the Botox.  But you and Keith Urban are starting to look too much like each other, ya dig?

(Photo: WENN)

 

You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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