• Fri, Feb 1 2013

5 Unexpected Wins From Last Night’s Buckwild

Shain and Cara Buckwild

Up to now on Buckwild, we’ve been ready to write off most of the characters as boring, possibly inbred simpletons with lives we care very minimally about. But on last night’s episode, we witnessed some unexpected stuff that further rounds out the flat characters we’ve been watching for like, 4 weeks. So this time around with our recap, we’ve gone in a different direction, and opted for a listicle! Here are the 5 unexpected wins from last night’s Buckwild, brought to you by someone who was too lazy to change the channel.

 1. Shain buries his money in the ground: Shain proves further to us that he is indeed, the countriest of country boys by burying his money in the ground. No seriously, he puts his “savings” in a mason jar, digs a hole, and piles the Earth back on. In his defense, this seems sort of backwardly effective. There’s no way I’d ever have a chance to spend that money, because I’d never have the energy to dig it up. So touché, Shain. Way to blow our minds.

 2. Cara makes macaroni and cheese omelets: Cara prepares the gang a sumptuous feast of macaroni and cheese omelets! Kind of gross sounding, but also something I’d definitely try once. I also may have seen these at a local diner, and it reminded me of everything I’m missing out there in the big wide world while I’m home watching TV.

Katie and Tyler Buckwild

 3. Katie acknowledges Tyler’s stupidity: Up to now, Katie has just filled the role of basic bitch who likes to make every sentence sound like a question. But we saw some unexpected insight from her last night. She dishes to Anna about Tyler “Like he’s perfect. He’s sweet and fun and looks great with his shirt off, but he’s reallllly stupid…” Good for you, sweetheart! We’re impressed that you even realized that. Gold star!

 4. Anna knows how to throw a good party: While at the general store–because they still have those un-ironically in West Virginia– the girls rack their brains for what they should get for a special party they’re throwing.  Cara’s like “We have nothing for the party, you guys!” And Anna’s like “All we need are liquor and chips.”  Pretty good answer.

Shain Gandee Candy Buckwild

 5. Shain actually makes candy: Up to now, I thought his tagline was just a lame pun with absolutely zero connection to anything—“They call me Gandee Candy because it’s trick or treat all year round”(violent pelvic thrust). Uhmm, actually Shain, they really call you Gandee Candy because your family has a candy company called “Gandee Candy.” You sell coconut truffles at the local artisan market with your parents. And this is where I begin to believe that Shain is a performance artist (a la’ Flavor of Love 2’s “Buckwild” character”) who has settled in Wolfpen to sell his chocolates in a less competive marketplace. And to test out his character improv. We think you’re up to something Shain, and we like it. You win the show.

Next week is the finale, kids! Pour out some Natty light for our boys and girls. The beauty of back-to-back episodes: the season’s over in 4 weeks.

(Photos from MTV.com)

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