Last night’s Snooki and JWoww delivered the moment we’d all been waiting for for so long when Snooki gave birth to baby Lorenzo (who is now five months old) on TV. Despite all the blood and the guts, our Snooki was wearing a full face of guidette makeup the whole time. We would expect nothing less of her!
While I was pretty sure the show’s producers would milk the birth for an entire episode, it turns out they got it out of the way quickly at the beginning, which is good because birth is traumatic and disgusting. Even those resolutely against the idea of Snooki and Jionni spawning must have teared up a little when Snooki’s dad started crying, or when Snooks herself got verklempt as she talked about her new son. “I’m just happy because I’ve always wanted a kid and he’s here” she said, “and it’s with Jionni, and he’s healthy and beautiful and I love him, he’s perfect.” Aaaaw.
The extremely gross part out of the way, the show moved onto other topics, like the mouse infestation in Snooki and JWoww’s house, circumcision, and whether or not Jenni’s dude Roger was ever going to put a ring on it. Jionni also got to ask some amusingly dumb things of the doctors, like if he could put hair gel on the baby and whether or not Snooki could produce chocolate breast milk by eating chocolate. And Snooki asked if she could keep his foreskin for a scrapbook.
Meanwhile, on Twitter, the new mom was re-living the magic:
All in all, the addition of a little meatball into her life made Snooki a bit more tolerable than usual, and Jionni seemed like a good partner for once. Congratulations to the new parents. May their child grow up to be a rocket scientist.