Okay my little Boxcar Children, we have a big mystery to solve. The new cover of OK! Magazine features Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. Remember them? Maybe? Vaguely? Well then you may remember what Kristen Stewart looks like. Spoiler alert: nothing like she does on the current cover of this magazine.
Look, I spent a lot of time this fall writing about her. So I know what she looks like. I’ve stared into those eyes so many times and begged them to tell me the truth. ARE YOU REALLY A VAMPIRE OR IS IT ALL AN ACT KRISTEN? But they never did. They just stared right back at me. Willing me to keep digging into her supernatural past.
So let me tell you that I’m 67% sure that’s not our Twilight star on that cover. Or least not all of her. For research purposes I’ve found three recent photos of her smiling, and as you can see they look nothing like that smile on the cover.
Which brings us to the mystery: who’s face is that and where is she now? Should we get a milk carton going? Is that what people do these days? If so, I’m ready.
Just tell me where to send it and I’ll get it out ASAP. Somewhere, out there, someone’s walking around without their face. Let’s do something good for once and get it back to them. Can we do that guys, can we take on that random act of kindness? Let me know.
(Photos: Awais, PacificCoastNews.com, DLM Press, PacificCoastNews.com, Hall/Pena, PacificCoastNews.com)