Here’s a fun fact that you won’t find under a Snapple cap: 1999 was the best year for movies ever. That’s not an opinion, that’s a statement that can easily be backed up with the help of IMDB.com and common sense.
Unlike every other year in history, 1999 gave us three classic middle school sleepover movies that would ultimately go on to define much of our adults years. I’m obviously talking about She’s All That, Never Been Kissed and 10 Things I Hate About You. The movies that really made us appreciate Drew Barrymore, Julia Stiles, Rachel Leigh Cook, Heath Ledger, Freddie Prinze Jr., Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Vartan and Alex Mack.
Not only did these movies make people rethink what it means to be an undercover reporter with glasses and an overprotective father in high school, but they made us realize how important prom was in the life of a teenage girl. Spoiler alert for those of you who missed this classic lesson: it’s the most important. THE MOST.
But that’s not the only lesson we got from these movies. No, no, no we learned everything we now know. So thank you Josie Geller, Laney Boggs, Kat Stratford and Bianca Stratford for making us the women we are today.
And with no further ado 1,999 lessons we learn from 1999 movies (give or take a few).
1. If high school didn’t go well for you the first time around, you can just buy a shirt laced with fur and try again in your twenties. That’s right, you’re NOT Josie Grosie anymore. No fake-prom invites this time around.
2. When you’re looking for the ugliest girl to fulfill a mean-spirited bet with your friends, go for the girl with the ponytail. That’s the easiest and cheapest problem to fix! An actually ugly girl on the other hand….you’re looking for trouble.
3. The best way to let someone know that you want to have sex is to stock your underwear drawer with black lingerie.
4. “All you need is for one person to think you’re cool, and you’re in. Everyone else will be scared to question it.” – Rob Gellar
5. You will not die if you eat a pizza covered in pubes, but you will make everyone else watching you very, very sick. (Especially your mother who you brought as your chaperone to see this movie in theaters.)
6. “It’s not everyday you find a girl who’ll flash someone to get you out of detention.” – Patrick
7. Don’t do pot when you’re on an undercover assignment, you’ll just end up looking like a huge loser. While you’re dancing on the stage AND when you wake up in the morning
8. “To everyone here who matters, you’re vapor, you’re spam, a waste of perfectly good yearbook space, and nothing’s ever gonna change that. ” – Taylor Vaughan
9. You always want to get involved with a girl who’s father makes up bizarre dating rules that involve her sister.
10. It doesn’t matter if your English teacher hits on you at a public carnival if you know that it’s legally okay. So what if he doesn’t? That’s not creepy, that’s love. Just go with it. Even when he asks to dance at your prom. It’s totally cool that he thinks you’re his student.
11. When in doubt, you are a bet. You are a fucking bet.
12. The more you hate someone and their big dumb combat boots and the way they drive your car and the way they stare, the more you actually love them.
13. “Sex can be fun… when you’re old enough, which none of you are. I should know. When you lose it to some guy named Junior with bad breath in the back of a van at a Guns N’ Roses concert, you’re gonna wish you had listened to your mother when she said, “They’re not gonna want to buy the whole friggin’ ice cream truck when you’re handing out the popsicles for free!”" – Anita Olesky
14. Contacts are a must. Glasses are a don’t. Repeat that mantra to yourself over and over again.
15. How do you know a guy really likes you? He does whatever it takes to embarrass you when you’re with your friends at sports practice! Once again, this is how people show affection.
16. The best way to apologize to a man who inappropriately seduced you is via a newspaper column that you’re not sure he’ll read. In the column, give him a deadline to profess his love that may not be possible due to his prior commitments Then invite the entire community to see if he shows up.
17. “ One second, you’re Zach Siler, class president, stand-out athlete, all-around bad-ass mamba-jahamba; the next thing you know, you’re Zach Siler, bitch-boy.” – Dean
18. If you’re faced with a really nice guy and a really douchey guy, go with the guy who you think will still be famous in 10 years. (Hint: That’s Joseph Gordon-Levitt!)
19. Never trust a girl who hooked up with a Real World cast member.
20. Your Dad will eventually let you go to college. But first he will tell you horrific stories about pregnant teenagers for two hours straight. Because that’s what Dads do!
21. People in high school always know choreographed dances. They just do. Don’t ask how. Don’t ask when they practiced. Just ask how you can be better at spontaneous choreographed dancing.
22. “There is a big world out there… bigger than prom, bigger than high school and it won’t matter if you were the prom queen, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.” – Josie Gellar
23. This song is the song that every girl plays in her head when she gets her first kiss.