I think I need to sit here quietly until I know how to feel right now. Like everyone else, I’m aware that 30 Rock has its final episode on Thursday, but I’ve been choosing not to believe it. I’ve been stowed away in my bunker of ignorance, hiding my face in a sandwich Liz Lemon-style and hoping this has all been some huge mistake and soon Oprah will wake me up from my in-flight fever dream and tell me everything is okay. But alas, things just got a little more real-sauce and a lot more difficult to ignore, as NBC has released kind of a farewell compilation called ‘Shit Liz Lemon Says‘.
And as great as it is, I kinda wish I never got it, y’know? I love it and it’s super fun, but it only serves to remind me that my friends at TGS don’t want to hang out with me every Thursday anymore. It’s like when your parents got divorced, so you got two sets of presents on Christmas. I love presents, and this is really fun and everything, but all you’re doing is reminding me that my parents don’t love me enough to sacrifice their own happiness for me anymore. Why would you do that, NBC? Why?
Well it’s done now, so you might as well watch it and try to hold back the gentle trickle down your cheek of a single tear of reminiscence at lines like ‘what the what?’, ‘by the hammer of Thor’, and ‘I want to go to there’. I would have included ‘blerg’ on this list, but I have to admit that Anne Hathaway kind of ruined it for me with her Golden Globes speech. So keep it, Anne! You can have it! UGH.
Lemon out. SOB.