For those of you who follow my Real Housewives of Atlanta recaps, you may say I write about Kenya Moore too often. And to all of you haters, I have only this to say: you’re goddamn right I do! I write about her every single week, and I’d write about her every single day if the show was on that frequently. And you know why? Because Kenya Moore is the crown jewel in the glorious crazy-tiara that is RHOA. Whoever found her deserves a raise and a Lamborghini, because she is Gone With The Wind fabulous. Whatever that means.
And last night she finally outdid herself. She’s been crazy for a long time, and mesmerizing for even longer, but I have to believe she can’t get crazier than she got last night. She heard that Phaedra Parks had been calling her crazy, and an alcoholic, and saying that she should be on medication, and she decided to BRING. THE NOISE. In her own words, “People call you crazy, you gotta bring ‘em crazy.” I am obsessed. So Kenya’s idea of crazy in this particularly instance was to show up at NeNe Leakes‘ shoe release party dressed…as Phaedra in Anguilla. Aka a black mesh dress, huge Kentucky Derby white hat, and BUTT AND BOOB PADS.
The woman was essentially naked, in public, and also doing an imitation of Phaedra, calling people ‘chile’ and calling herself a southern belle. It. Was. Amazing. They’ve been promoting this episode for a few weeks now, showing clips of Kenya fanning herself and batting her eyes, calling herself crazy, but for some reason it didn’t occur to me that she could be wearing a costume. I just figured she ran her mouth for a little bit and they’d have a Donkey Booty vs. Stallion Booty confrontation, and that would be it.
Oh how wrong I was. When the camera finally zoomed out enough to take in Kenya’s whole outfit, my mouth literally dropped open and all I typed in my notes on my laptop was, “!!!! OH. MY. GOD. KENYA!!” She is amazing. We can all pack up the rest of our reality shows and go home, because she wins. She just wins. I can’t with her anymore, I’m so in awe. I can’t believe there was ever a time I didn’t like this woman. She’s the best television I’ve seen in years.
Other highlights of the night include her asking Porsha Williams-Stewart out to lunch and asking the waiter to take the knives off the table, and her quote, “I don’t take it lying down, even from my man,” which brings to mind a nude Kenya dashing around the house intermittently having sex standing up and batting away at the pursuing boner. Knowing her, that doesn’t even sound that crazy.