• Mon, Jan 28 2013

Lindsay Lohan’s Former Attorney Was Thrilled To Be Fired Because Duh

Lindsay Lohan heads back to the Dorchester Hotel after shopping at Harrods in LondonTalk about a silver lining! Lindsay Lohan‘s attorney, the long-suffering Shawn Holley, is being allowed to slip quietly back into the school of little lawyer fishes swimming around in the big law pond.So technically, if you don’t speak my vague, animal-themed metaphors, she’s being fired. But gently, in a nice way that’s nice for everybody but especially nice for Shawn Holley.

Lindsay is currently — and constantly — embroiled in a bitter struggle to stay out of jail at all costs so she can be free to roam the streets punching gypsies and hit-and-running at will. It’s gone on for long enough that she’s apparently forgotten the root cause of it and turned her fire-crotchy ire on Shawn for not preventing it from happening or fairy-godmothering it away. You know, because she doesn’t have the magical powers that all attorneys should have in order to be able to adequately handle Lindsay Lohan. So Shawn is almost a free woman, having already filed legal documents to get herself dismissed from the case. Lindsay has signed them, and Judge Stephanie Sautner, the (also) long-suffering judge saddled with Lindsay’s court appearances, is expected to sign them on Wednesday. That’s when Lindsay is next scheduled to appear, most likely with her new lawyer, Mark Heller. Maybe not, though, because Mark needs to be sponsored by a practicing California attorney since he operates out of New York and not California. He somehow hasn’t been able to manage this yet, which is fairly odd and definitely worrying. It could mean that Lindsay shows up sans lawyer on Wednesday. How worrying.

But let’s focus instead on the bright side — the fact that Shawn Holley gets to wake up Thursday morning and read about Lindsay’s new exploits in the paper instead of on her cell phone. She gets to smile again, to smell flowers, to hear childrens’ laughter, to assume that a white substance is talcum powder. It’s a wonderful life. I’m assuming that’s what that movie was about.

(Image: DGA / WENN.com)

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  • diamond

    Lindsay did not hit Tiffany you brain-dead bitch! Like all psychics, she’s nothing but a scam artist.