Esteemed publicationÂ Star magazine is announcing to the world that Angelina Jolie is pregnant with her seventh child with Brad Pitt. Â Since it’s been at least four years since the birth of a Jolie-Pitt child, I’m inclined to believe it.
According to Star, Angie and Brad are telling their friends (they have friends?) that they are expecting a boy and â€śShiloh has even determined that the baby’s name must be John.” Â Now that can’t be true, because that name isn’t weird enough for Hollywood and it certainly isn’t weird enough for the Jolie-Pitts’ seventh baby. Already parents toÂ Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh and twins Knox and Vivienne (my personal fave), they need to come up with something a little more creative.
Angelina Jolie terrifies me when she’s not preggo, but she especially terrifies me when she is. Â She’s always bone-thin and haggard during her pregnancies, which leads me to believe she’s probably carrying Satan’s spawn…and then BOOM. Â She delivers perfect, beautiful, cherubic angels sent from the golden gates of heaven. Â If that’s not some sort of wily witchcraft, I don’t know what is.
Star is also reporting that Angie and Brad are considering leaving Hollywood for good. Â While I’m sure they have plenty of money, that money will surely run out if they have seven nannies to pay for, plus all of theirÂ chateausÂ and Chanel perfume. Â If they stop making movies and Jolie-ing at awards shows, what will happen to those children? Â They already need so much help, they can’t even poop on their own.
I guess we’ll find out in six months or so!