Word on the street is that things are kind of rocky between Modern Family star Sofia Vergara and her fiance Nick Loeb. After dating since 2010, the pair got engaged in July of 2012, but are reportedly already in couples counseling. That on its own wouldn’t necessarily be indicative of a split — many couples opt to get counseling before whisking each other down the aisle — but now rumors are swirling that they’ve stopped house-hunting as well. Whomp whomp. Nothing definite yet, and obviously neither of their reps have confirmed anything, but in this age of lightning-fast news, you gotta find a way to get ahead of the curve. So as pessimistic as it is, I’m gonna strike while the iron is hot and get Sofia set up with ten other prime candidates juuuuuust in case she might need them. Also in case my advice matters at all to her. Which I’m sure it does. Let me warn you, though…many of these gents were chosen solely because of the beauty of their theoretical offspring with Sofia. Some of them have wives or girlfriends, but this is the internet and not real life and I DO WHAT I WANT.
So here they are — the Ten Guys Sofia Vergara Should Date Instead of Nick Loeb Now That They Might Be Breaking Up:
James Marsden. First of all, look at that face. That charming charming face. That’s all you really need, but he also comes with some other lovely qualities. Yes, he’s been married before, but so has Sofia! James was married for eleven years, from 2000 – 2011, which was long enough to show loyalty and commitment, but long enough ago that he’s probably clear-headed about it. He also has three kids — Jack Holden and Mary James from his marriage, and William Luca with his ex-girlfriend Rose Costa. Just so’s you know.
Okay yeah, George Clooney is dating Stacy Kiebler. But he’s notorious bachelor, so it’s likely he’ll be single soon. Plus he never stays with one woman for very long, so he’d be a great rebound for a lady coming out of a long-term relationship.
As we all know, Johnny Depp is fresh out of a relationship as well, with long-time partner Vanessa Paradis. But he’s quiet and stays out of the spotlight, so these two could live a fairly normal life out of the glare of the media even though they’re both famous.
Kobe Bryant is also married, but boy oh boy do he and his wife Vanessa fight a lot. They actually even announced their divorce in 2011, but publicly reconciled as of this month. He may be a bit of a cheater, but he certainly knows his way around an I’m-sorry-diamond.
Has ever a man looked more dapper in a tux than Bradley Cooper? Answer: nope! We are right now in a brief window of time where Bradley is not seeing anyone, following his split from Zoe Saldana, so someone should make their move, and I’m hoping it’s Sofia so we can have an end to these Bradley and Jennifer Lawrence rumors. As great as that would be.