• Fri, Jan 25 2013

Only Jennifer Lawrence Could Tell A Charming Story About Her Itchy Butt

Jennifer Lawrence wetsuitYou know how I know that I’m in love with Jennifer Lawrence? I’m at the point where I think all her stories are wonderful. She could literally say anything and I’d clap in delight and say “more, more, more, please!”

Take this latest Catching Fire anecdote from an interview on Live! With Kelly and Michael as a prime example. There are several celebrities who could tell it and I’d write them off an sacrilegious jerks who deserve the wrath of the Gods. But J.Law tells it and I’m like “Ohemgee, do you want to be blood sisters? Organ sisters? Do you want one of my kidneys? Say the word and it is yours!”

We got to shoot in the most amazing places. There was one place that was sacred rocks, so there was a meeting in the morning before I got there, (that) I didn’t know about, but apparently there were certain ways that you were supposed to sit on the rocks because they were sacred. And we had these horrible wet suits on and my butt started itching and just nothing could really get it, so I started rubbing my butt on one the rocks.

“You know when (it’s) like nothing can satisfy that itch? I was trying everything and I started doing it and all the camera guys started (gasping). And then this huge stone starts tumbling down the hill and they were like, ‘That’s her fault, it’s sacred rocks!’ And I didn’t want to go ask one of the (local) people there,… ‘How bad is that?’ So I might still be cursed.”

FIrst of all, I’ve worn a wetsuit, for business and for pleasure. So I really do know just how itchy they can be. So I feel her there. I also know how one innocent gesture — such as itching your butt on a rock — can be horribly misinterpreted by people. That’s kind of my life story. Or at least chapters 1 – 5 of my life story. I do something silly and people are like “Jenni, that is illegal. It’s bad enough you broke into Chipotle, but to start up the stoves, make a burrito and add the guacamole without leaving that extra dollar on the counter is unethical and immoral.”

So been there, done that. I’m sure I have so many jinxes and curses following me that I could get cast as the lead in a TLC series called Extreme Cursed Wives With One Fake Boob.

Therefore I’m totally on team Jennifer Lawrence for this incident. And for every incident. Because my obsession with her is starting to cross some lines.

(Photo: Juan Sharma/Goodrich, PacificCoastNews.com)

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  • Heather Z.

    Totally Charming.

  • http://twitter.com/stopmyfirenow Fire In the Hole!

    Love that girl. She should try “Fire in the Hole” for butt itchiness. http://www.stopmyfire.com