Frenemies: Loyalty Turned Lethal is one of the newest shows on the ID Channel, and I am now recording the whole season on my DVR. Because my destiny is to befriend a charismatic stranger and then being killed for the life insurance money. If you haven’t yet gotten addicted to ID you’re missing out. It’s kind of like the Discovery channel’s estranged agoraphobic sister who drinks Barefoot chardonnay and watches true crime specials all day. Basically, My Life is a Lifetime Movie all day everyday. But on last night’s Frenemies, crazy things happened! And I’m here to relay it to you through screenshots..
This is Butch and Ed. They’re bros. Frat bros to be exact. As we can infer from the pic, Butch is the fun-loving party animal, and Ed is the serious mathematical type with political ambitions. How apropos this is, because Ed is an embezzler! As the treasurer of their frat, he needs a quick and easy way to make the organization some money. So he hatches a plan to steal some electronics from their friends and collect on the insurance money as any rational, left-brained person would do. And they get away with it, for now.
But suspicion starts to pull at the frayed threads of their friendship when Ed takes an older lady lover. This woman is the owner of a furniture warehouse, who embezzles money from the books to buy Ed expensive gifts.Their main point of rendezvous is a furniture warehouse.
Nothing makes them panties drop like a 3-part sectional. Butch looks on….
And then they hatch a plan to burn the warehouse to the ground, for what else, but the insurance money? Ed asks Butch to come in on the operation, but Butch can’t reconcile his scruples with another terrible insurance money ploy! Because he’s the Lenny in this situation, and Ed is Bernie Madoff.
So Butch flees to his nature retreat, namely his thinking stone by a babbling brook…
While Ed sits in the woods, growing ever more furious that Butch doesn’t support his schemes. He probably doesn’t support him at all! And he’ll be a senator one day. Then he’ll be sorry for telling him that contrast-collar oxford shirts are for douches.
Fast forward to three-quarters of the way through, Ed realizes that the only fair comeuppance for his friend’s betrayal is to pistol-whip him to death. Ed has a brother who helps him dispose of the body.At the end of all of this, everyone turns Ed in, and he spends the rest of his life behind bars. Oh, and this is what he really looks like… Talk about a Hollywood casting…
You heard it on the ID channel first. Don’t trust no one. And insurance will only lead those around you to destroy your shit. Life lessons brought to you by television.