Toddlers And Tiaras Mom Breastfeeds Her Three-Year-Old Child ‘To Give Her Everything She Needs To Win’

Winning child beauty pageants is hard. In the midst of increasingly fierce competition, parents turn to expensive outfits, caffeinated beverages, and even human breast milk to gain that extra edge. Why bother even showing up if you’re going to risk anything less than perfection?

Breast milk, you say? Duh, breast milk. Those untrained in the ways of child beauty might not know this, but that magical, milky victory elixir turns losers into winners and blows “go go juice” right out of the developmentally appropriate water.

At least, according to one mom named Holly who was featured on last night’s Toddlers and Tiaras. Because she’s allergic to failure, she still breast feeds her three-year-old daughter Natali—(Your first clue she’s a genius: how she spells her kid’s name)—despite the fact that she’s old enough to execute complex, Mexican-inspired choreography on her own.

“As a mom, I just feel like I should do everything I possibly can to protect Natali and give her everything she needs to win,” explains Holly of the decision to keep her on the sauce. “And if other people don’t like it, they just don’t have to look.”

Do you hear that, haters? If the brilliant, golden light given off by all that winning blinds you, you may simply avert your eyes and continue on your losery way. It’s not her fault if you’re not willing to do whatever it takes to be the breast. Now, if you will excuse them, these glorious winners have a plastic trophy to polish and a $50 Claire’s gift card to spend.

(Via HuffPost)

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    • WolfMommy

      Ya know, it’s not abnormal to still be breastfeeding a three year old. I know it makes for better copy, but you don’t have to make it sound like such a freak show.

    • Den

      If you think Dale`s story is exceptional…, last week my mum’s best friend also broght in $6171 working twelve hour’s a week from their apartment and they’re friend’s half-sister`s neighbour did this for 5 months and errned over $6171 in there spare time On there laptop. use the steps from this website Big44.comONLY

    • sleepysone1995

      it is better than go go juice…