Is everyone ready for the latest installment in the Taylor Swift Chronicles? It’s been a few hours since I heard her name; I was beginning to get worried. Well, have no fear, the Unnamed Source is here!
A “close pal” of Taylor’s told RadarOnline that all the recent jokes and criticisms about her in the press lately are starting to get to her: Apparently Taylor has a great sense of humor about herself, but she’s starting to do that thing where a genuine laugh turns into one of those fake, pained laughs that happens when you realize people are really making fun of you. Or at least that’s what I imagine is happening:
“But now she’s the butt of jokes on Saturday Night Live, in the tabloids and on the late night shows. She laughed it off, but the jokes made about her at the Golden Globes got under her skin.”
This is where Taylor loses me. I didn’t think it was humanly possible for anyone to listen to the words coming out of Golden Globes hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler‘s mouths and not laugh/fight off the desire to stalk them. Those two could show a PowerPoint presentation of embarrassing pictures from my childhood while reading from my middle school diary in front of millions of people, and I would still sit there and laugh hysterically, with multiple vigorous nods and claps thrown in, and I would still run up to them later and ask for their autographs/to be my roommates. So for Taylor to be upset by their warning for her to stay away from Michael J. Fox‘s son is unprecedented.
But that’s not even the most shocking revelation made by this source. Apparently these jokes are inspiring Taylor to change her thousand-and-one-boyfriends-per-year ways:
“She really wants to make an effort to slow down and not jump from boyfriend to boyfriend. In a weird way all the negative press has really opened her eyes and will be good for her!”
Cue simultaneous worldwide spit take.
The way I see it, there’s only one thing that can happen now. Taylor Swift, worried that the general public will use their collective unconscious to write a scathing song about her that will be broadcast across the globe like the alien music in Close Encounters, will beat us to the punch and write a break-up song about us. Or just about Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I don’t think she’s decided yet.
(Photo: LJT Images / WENN.com)