Good news everyone: That anti-abortion propaganda film by Justin Bieber‘s mom you’ve been waiting forÂ will be in theaters next month! Â Obviously timed up with the biggest baby-making month of the year,Â Cresendo,Â which is not a film about the increasing volume during a bar in a classical composition, comes out on February 28th.
I can only imagine thatÂ Cresendo is filled to the brim with factual information and scenarios based on reality. Â Apparently Patty Mallette, Justin Bieber’s momager and Kris -Jenner-in-Training, was practically an episode ofÂ Intervention away from making a huge mistake (allegedly) and considering abortion while pregnant with her cash cow of a son. Â Who (allegedly) doesn’t even have hair on his balls yet but (allegedly) likes to light up a Mary J. every now and then. Â Aww…full circle!
Mallette hopes thatÂ she hopes her involvement with CrescendoÂ will “encourage young women all over the world, just like me, to let them know that there is a place to go, people who will take care of you and a safe home to live in if you are pregnant and think you have nowhere else to turn.”
Her goal is to raise $10 million for those pregnancy centers that aren’t really pregnancy centers but terrifying, guilt-inducing Christian clinics that bully young girls or indecisive girls into not making their own informed decisions. Â Yay! Â I wonder if Kirk Cameron will be Patty’s date to the premiere? Â He hasn’t been pontificating in the news lately and the Duggars are on hiatus so I miss him.
I say good for you, Patty! Â You cleaned your act up, took responsibility for not using any of the thousands of types of birth control out there, and you’re making the most of your difficult situation. Â Not everyone who follows your lead gets to profit exponentially off of their offspring’s unfathomably successful music careers. Â Bravo!