Good morning sweet world that I can still believe in and touch with my fingers! I’m having a little trouble learning to trust you again after finding out that Lance Armstrong did blood-doping after all, and Manti Te’o‘s girlfriend Lennay Kekua is a total hoax.
I’m not even a football fan, and I’m having to read and learn and know about sports, so I’m already a little cranky today, and when you add on the fact that I don’t know what to believe in anymore, you might as well steer clear of me all day. But I did find something. Something real, something true, something I can count on. It won’t breathe me to sleep at night or ‘Like’ my photos on the internet, but it won’t let me down, either — THE MEME.
In times of darkness, when you don’t know where to turn, memes are there to make you smile again. Condescending Wonka is there to offer you a gobstopper and a smirk, Scumbag Steve is there to piss on your keyboard, and Overly Attached Girlfriend has already sent you several voicemails wondering where you are and why you haven’t called back. These are our real friends, guys. Not Lance and Manti, or anyone else who’s just going to trample on our dreams of living vicariously through them and return us to our humdrum lives. Sure, a meme will never almost win the Heisman trophy or sweep the Tour de France, but this is a change we can believe in.
So turn your attention to my your new false idols — 12 Of Our Favorite Manti Te’o GIFs. I met them at Stanford.