• Fri, Jan 18 2013

Why Oh Why Did Jessica Chastain Say Yes To Mama

Then they move into a large suburban house because a corrupt children’s therapist blackmails them into moving there. Just go with it. Naturally Mama follows them there and sends our heroic uncle straight into a coma. So now Annabel is left raising children she doesn’t want — and let me remind you that they’re HORRIBLE children. Horrible children, who bear in mind, are being followed around by a ghost who will murder anyone who tries to steal her children away from her.

She’s all like “I don’t want to raise these children” and her boyfriend is all like “just do this for me.” And I’m like this isn’t sacrificing a date night for an important football game, it is raising two insane children possessed by a ghost. It makes no sense.

Their aunt shows up (their murdered mother’s sister) and is like “I have children, I think I’d be better at this than you.” But the uncle’s like “no, my brother did not murder your sister so your kids can live in a normal home!” And Annabel agrees, even though WHAT!? Why would she agree with that?

Hey sweetheart, your boyfriend’s in a coma and his kids are being followed around by a Satanic spirit. GIVE THEM UP! They’re not even yours!

But no, she keeps them and falls in love with them and then fights Mama for them. Even though we’re not really sure why Mama wants them. Or why Guillermo del Toro didn’t make a slight script change where the Mama ghost is their murdered mother’s ghost. That would make more sense, you know? It would give us a reason to understand why this spirit is so obsessed with these kids. Especially considering that the Mama ghost in the movie killed her own child. Not exactly someone who screams “I want to be a mother!” to me. But what do I know. I’ve never raised someone else’s feral nieces.

Now with all this said, Jessica Chastain did a good job. But a good job in a bad movie doesn’t amount to much. So once again I must ask why she chose this project.

Anyone?

(Photo: Wedding Wire)

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  • Irish Girl

    She took it because: Before ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ became the IT movie of the year (morally execrable as the director is), Chastain was a working workhorse of an actor for the last fifteen years. Hopefully you take parts that are intriguing and interesting and compelling, but really — you take the parts that will pay some bills. :D

    Also, don’t hate too much on “Mama”. Nicolaj Coster-Waldau is in it, too, and that’s reason enough for me to smile.

    • Jenni

      It’s a classic House at the End of the Street move.

    • Irish Girl

      With Nicolaj Coster-Waldau….:P

    • Jenni

      Also with this

    • Irish Girl

      LMAO

  • Michella

    She took it because Guillermo del Toro is regarded as a master of his genre with many amazing films behind him.

    • Jenni

      This wasn’t his finest piece of work. Just saying.

    • Irish Girl

      Well, you KNOW the only reason they’re promo-ing the hell out of it now is because of Chastain’s Oscar nom/GG win. If she hadn’t won the Globe, and if ZDT wasn’t causing so much controversy, “Mama” would very quickly become a forgotten, unsupported art piece. Coster-Waldau (or his agent) has to be over the moon, or should be if he has any sense.

    • Jenni

      Just like releasing House at the End of the Street right after Hunger Games. It’s the new thing. Find an up-and-coming actress and then wait until she’s getting lots of press before releasing the movie.

    • Irish Girl

      Yup. That’s Hollywood. Squeeze the nickel till the buffalo poops.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Chellarossi Michella Rossi

      I haven’t seen it yet, and that may be the case- not everything he does is amazing, but its likely that she did it because of his reputation. He’s not your average horror director, so she was probably banking on it being something different.

  • Jordan Hines

    Jamie Lanniester will never have a normal sibling relationship

    • Irish Girl

      I fear that poor Jaime may not have a normal relationship, full stop — sibling or otherwise. Cersei visited monstrous abuse on both her brothers.

  • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

    IDK. I guess you would have to ask her why. Have you read Paglia on Taylor Swift and Katy Perry yet? Jes askin.

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