Well I never! Jennifer Lawrence recently went on The Late Show with Dave Letterman to expose a scandal of epic proportions. Her ex-boyfriend Nicholas Hoult doesn’t exist. HE WAS A HOAX. Lolsies, that’s someone else who revealed that this week. Sorry I’m not sorry for squeezing a little topical Manti Te’o humor for you on this fine Thursday. It’s not often I’m up on my sports knowledge, so I’m trying to take full advantage.
Anyway back to J.Law and her soon-to-be-turned-into-a-Dateline-Special story. While talking to Dave, Jennifer Lawrence told him that a tabloid photoshopped an 90-year-old woman’s butt onto her body — and she would therefore not take responsibility for that butt. And she let it be known that she’ll take responsibility for her less flattering photos, such as this one. But she will not, under any circumstances, take responsibility for that butt. IT’S NOT HERS!
As always, late night talk show interviews leave us with more questions than answers. Why would a tabloid do this to Jennifer Lawrence? It’s bad enough they’re stalking her on a family vacation. Can they at least give her the dignity of not pasting someone else’s butt onto her body? Silly question, I know. I apologize.
Also who’s butt is this? Is it yours? Is it your grandma’s? Take a good look, do you recognize this butt? Have you seen it on a milk carton or something? Because whoever owns this butt might want to know that Jennifer Lawrence is wearing it around.