• Thu, Jan 17 2013

Jim Carrey And 6 Other Things My Mom Banned In The ’90s

Jim Carrey Dumb and Dumber

(Via)

Jim Carrey turns 51 today. But my mom won’t care. She hates him. I think it all goes back to a trailer she saw for Ace Ventura: Pet Detective back in the early ’90s. I’m not entirely sure, all I know is that he was banned from my house. I can’t even tell you how much courage it took to ask my Mom to rent Liar, Liar from Blockbuster back in 1997. It was akin to telling her I was dropping out of the 4th grade to pursue my burlesque dancing career — completely unacceptable in her eyes. No actually, probably worse.

It didn’t matter that she let me check out Flowers in the Attic from the public library in 5th grade or that I had several screennames that I would use to go into AOL chatrooms and say things like “yes, I am an adult. You can confirm this because when someone said press 123 if you’re an adult, I did exactly that.” Those activities didn’t even come close to watching a Jim Carrey movie in her eyes.

Sadly for my childhood, Jim Carrey wasn’t the only thing unequivocally  banned from my house as a child. Nope, my mom had a long list of things on her “absolutely not” list.  It’s as if she wanted me to be an elementary school pariah who could only converse about The Babysitter’s Club and the complete lack of nutrition in white bread.

What else made her list of horrors? You can read below. Let me just warn you that this reads like a rejected script from American Horror Story. That’s how weird and backwards and confusing it is for an average person who’s mother didn’t turn to stone at the mention of staying up past my bedtime to watch the last thirty minutes of Dawson’s Creek.

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  • ChopChick

    Only one of those I was allowed was Family Matters–everything else, I too, was banned from…

  • Nancy

    My mom assumed South Park was just a kids cartoon. It came out when I was about 10 and my friends and I would joke about the show. Then, I guess the next Christmas, I asked for it’s soundtrack and she got it for me. Unfortunately my brother is 9 year older than me, and he said “Mom, do you even know what’s on that CD?” And then he played ‘Chocolate Salty Balls’ for her. I honestly can’t even remember if she took it away. I think she tried to but gave in right away, maybe she thought it was hilarious, too. Probably, because later she bought me giant plushies of the main characters, which YEAH I still have. They were out of Cartman, sadly.

    • Jenni

      The only cartoons approved in my house were Doug and Rugrats. I watched a lot of videos.

    • jimbo

      I wasn’t even allowed to watch Rugrats. My mom thought those horribly misbehaved children would turn me into a delinquent. Same with the Simpsons. By the time South Park came around, mom was too exhausted to argue any more.

  • http://thekimberlydiaries.com/ the kimberly diaries

    I wasn’t allowed to watch the simpsons! I still dont watch it

    • Jenni

      Ha, same! I guess my mom’s magic worked.

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